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Bec Hill: comedy, the right to offend, faith, arts and crafts, ADHD and best uses for duct tape, Podcast

October 24, 2021 Ben Yeoh

Bec Hill is an actor, comedian and writer famous for flip charts featuring misheard lyrics. She has a wide array of talents including as a writer (see her recent children’s book series: Horror Heights, The Slime; and hosting Makeaway Takeaway for children's ITV. She has her own podcast A Problem Squared which she co-hosts with Matt Parker.

We speak about the use of arts and craft in comedy and thinking about children’s comedy. How she found acting as a “straight actor” in David Finnigan’s Kill Climate Deniers.

How she met her partner and how he has helped direct and collaborate on her shows.

How faith helps guide her life. How her ADHD diagnosis has helped her understanding.

That all things can be funny, but do you want to make a joke out of all things? We discuss the right to offend, but think about whether we should make jokes about everything. 

The best uses for PVA glue, duct tape and glitter and her practical advice for aspiring stand-up comics (it’s to do with the microphone).

You can find her socials below, do follow and check out her book.

PODCAST INFO

  • Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3gJTSuo

  • Spotify: https://sptfy.com/benyeoh

  • Anchor: https://anchor.fm/benjamin-yeoh

App Icon Apple Podcasts

Bec's socials:

  • Twitter: https://twitter.com/bechillcomedian

  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bechillcomedian

  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bechillcomedian/

Bec’s Website.

Bec's book, The Slime: https://amzn.to/3GgPLAU


Transcript

(Note, this is unedited so expect typos etc.)

Ben Yeoh (00:00): Hello, and welcome to Ben Yeoh Chats. If you're curious about the world, this show is for you. Should comedians make jokes about anything? On this episode, I speak to comedian Bec Hill. We talk about her comedy process, arts and craft, faith, and her work for children. Bec has a new book out, Horror Heights: The Slime, do check it out. If you enjoy the show, please like and subscribe as it helps others find the podcast. Thank you, be well. Hey, everyone. I'm super excited to be speaking to Bec Hill. Bec is an actor, comedian writer kind of famous for flip charts with misheard music lyrics, but she has a wide array of talents, including a recent children's book series Horror Heights and hosting make away takeaway for children's ITV and her own podcast, A Problem Squared, which she co-host with Matt Parker. Bec, welcome.


Bec Hill (01:04): Hi Ben. Oh, that was such a lovely intro as well. So nice. Quite often I just get she does flip charts and then I'm like, oh, I do other stuff.


Ben Yeoh (01:14): Well, actually that's one of the things I was going to ask is just your wide range of talents. I'm embarrassed to say when we first met, I had no idea you were a famous and brilliant comedian as well, because I thought you were a straight actor as you were in my friend's David Finnigan's play and I came to help out one rehearsal and I thought, oh, look at all of these great actors and everything and it turns out that actually there's a whole other vast array of stuff that you do and are potentially more famous. I guess you've got so much going on, do you think there's going to be any more time for straight acting in your life and how do you think of all of the multitude of things that you do?


Bec Hill (01:54): Oh, good question. First of all, thank you. I don't think I've ever considered myself to be a famous anything and also I love that you thought that I was a proper actor cause I think that was the first proper-- I had to audition that sort of thing that I'd done before or since high school or whatever. So that meant a lot as well cause I really enjoyed doing that play. It was really fun. I did acting in school, so it was something that I really enjoyed but I've always been better at being myself on stage than being someone else. And so, that's why I sort of ended up moving into stand up and all the different avenues that that takes me, but there's always been a little part inside me that's been like, oh, plays were fun though. I love the team element of putting on a play, you don't really get that so much in standup. So, I know this isn't your question by the way, but I'm just realizing that I'm already like, okay, look at all this stuff, let's unpack it now. All right.


Ben Yeoh (03:07): No, please. Go ahead and chat away.


Bec Hill (03:12): So yeah, I would definitely love to act more to answer that question. I think there'll definitely be time for it at some point in the future and I like writing for TV and so whenever I write or pitch stuff, live action stuff for especially adults, I always try and write a role in that I could maybe play cause sometimes I'm like, oh, it might be easier to get into something if I'm the one in charge.


Ben Yeoh (03:41): Plenty of actors end up doing that. They have to write for themselves because the parts that they want aren't written for them.


Bec Hill (03:50): Yeah. Although what I loved about David Finnigan's play, Kill Climate Deniers, was how-- cause they approached my agent who sent it onto me and that character Catch who I got to play, she's like a lead terrorist and I loved her character as soon as I read the script. I thought she's so unhinged but at the same time, so right. It felt like she's where a lot of people would be if they just got sick of not being listened to and just got pushed over the edge to where they start not doing the right thing morally and that is such a fun character to play because I know in real life I would never go there, but it's fun to pretend you're that person and that was really fun. I would like to do more stuff like that. I like playing a baddie, but like a charismatic baddie because it's so different. Also I was writing for kids TV at the time. I was writing for an adorable show called School of Roars on CBeebies and I had some tight deadlines. So on a weekend, I might have an afternoon and an evening of the show where [Inaudible:00:05:20] lot of swearing and [Inaudible:00:05:22] and all this sort of stuff. And then I would go home and be like, "Winston had a lovely new pair of glasses," and just be writing a really cute dialogue for little monsters that go to school, just dealing with everyday life.


Ben Yeoh (05:37): [Inaudible:00:05:37].


Bec Hill (05:39): It was really cute. It was really fun. And I think that's what I really like about doing different things is that it helps balance you out a bit. Anytime I'm focusing on one thing, like one outlet, it's when I get a bit sort of in my own head and it sort of affects me in a very negative way. So it's good to have other things to balance it out.


Ben Yeoh (06:02): Do you like working with other people because I reflect that it seems to me that comedy, particularly standup, is quite lonesome. I mean, I guess occasionally you might have a director, but often you are just kind of creating it all yourself, so you don't have that kind of collaborative rehearsal thing. And often, you're not taught in the same way, "taught" sort of in quotation marks, it's just sort of learn on the job type of thing. I often think of it as a little bit perhaps like carpenters or craft people, you kind of have to learn by doing quite a lot. There's only so much you can learn by watching or reading, which you can to a certain extent. I mean, how's your kind of comedy craft coming along? Is it just doing that and do you like to collaborate where you can?


Bec Hill (06:53): Yeah, I definitely had to learn as I went. There were certainly no courses or workshops when I started out in Adelaide. It was quite a small scene but a very supportive scene. I like working with other people. I think my favorite, [shows] are the ones where I tend to know the other acts are on and get along with them. It becomes more of a social event rather than just work. It's like the difference between working in an office where you get on with everyone there and enjoy catching up with them and working in an office where you have nothing in common with the other people. So, it can be lonely if you're doing a gig, especially a gig that's maybe in a different city or something and either you are the only person who's been booked and you don't know anyone else or the other acts you've maybe never worked with, or maybe it's a different type of scene, that can feel quite lonely. Especially if you're coming home on your own, you're sitting on long train journeys and stuff, but generally speaking, it's quite a social job, I guess.


Bec Hill (08:18): And in terms of collaboration for my larger shows, for my [comedy] shows, I mean, my husband and I got together-- we've been together as a couple for about 13 years now and when we first got together, he was the front of house at my first ever solo show in Melbourne. He was from Scotland. He was on a working visa. We headed off and not long afterwards, I applied for my British passport and followed him back over. The rest is history, but one of things that we connected over is, he was always really supportive of, I mean, it was my first solo show, so it was fine and he was really supportive. He'd have to watch the show loads of times cause Steve would bring in the audience and then sit beside to make sure that everything was going okay, if anyone had to go the loo or something, and I remember I tried to woo him, impress him cause I thought he was quite attractive and I thought, I know what we'll win him over, I'll send him a script I'm working on and he'll see how funny I am and he'll fall desperately in love with me. And I sent him the script and in any other situation I would advise against this. If I was where I am now and this had happened, I'd be like, this is so patronizing but he sent it back with a few additions and they were so on the mark of what I was doing, they just absolute complimented what I'd already put there and he just got what I was doing and just added a couple of little extra ending gags and I remember thinking, oh, this guy gets me and he is very funny, I definitely want to work with him.


Bec Hill (10:14): So when I first started doing, especially when I moved over to the UK and I was trying to make more of a career out of it, I would run all of my material past him before I went to new material nights. A lot of the time he would come to the gigs with me and sit there and take notes. I mean the amount of times he would work like a director and he would take notes and note the are times that I said throwaway lines that I might want to remember and try again, or I might want to slightly tweak something the way that I said to see if it would get a bigger laugh and because we're so close and we read each other really well, I felt comfortable to say, if he suggested something, that I didn't agree with, I could be like, "No, I'm not going to do that." Or I would be, "I'll try it but if it doesn't work, I'm not doing it again." And then after several years of that it got to a point where I realized he's so talented, he's an amazing writer and he was kind of wanting to do more stuff with that and he had started to get a real interest in theater more than stand up. And eventually I was like, "Do you know what? I need to walk on my own two feet, I can't keep dragging you around to every gig. It's not fair on you and you need to put your skills into something that you want to do because otherwise this whole relationship is building my career and that's not fair on you."


Bec Hill (11:38): So he started to write more theater based stuff and I sort of started to work more independently but when I do big hour long shows, he still directs them. So I still run stuff past him to see what he thinks. If I make a new flip chart, I end up practicing the flip chart to him because I know that he'll pick up on if I need to slow something down or speed it up or whatever. So that is very much collaborative, as much as I like to take credit for myself, I mean, and I'm just lucky that our partnership works in that way. I would say that for a lot of people, it's not necessarily someone that they're in a relationship with, but it might be that your collaborative partner is your best friend or it might be a mentor or something like that. But I think it is important to have someone who gets you, who you trust their opinion and you know that they're thinking about you and what you are trying to say rather than trying to speak through you and he's very good at that. So yeah, he's directed all of my shows and even with Horror Heights, even with the writing, he always ends up reading, I always get him to read the draft before I do the rewrite in case there's something that my editor has maybe missed or if I'm not sure about something. I can't always get a hold of my editor, so I'll be like, what do you think about this? So, yeah, it's important to have a person or even several people to be able to bounce off [Inaudible:00:13:17].


Ben Yeoh (13:18): That's beautiful. I have the same with my partner. She often looks at my things or I'm trying to do a performance lecture piece, at the moment I'm kind of always say, "Oh, is this slide okay or not?" It's kind of quite important to have that. It's a really beautiful story. I guess on the first script, did a little paper heart also fall out or it's just like, you need a gag here and that was it, you were in love


Bec Hill (13:42): No, he didn't say you need a gag here, he just wrote it in as if it was part of the script.


Ben Yeoh (13:46): Okay.


Bec Hill (13:47): And I remember thinking, oh yeah, this is good but yeah, I think as time, no, actually I don't think he's ever cut anything out. I don't think he ever cuts my stuff. I think he only ever suggests ways to improve it, which is probably a very good way of-- maybe that's why I respond to it so well. I was never good with the crossing out stuff.


Ben Yeoh (14:09): Yeah, the red pen, like A, not red and B just crossing out. And having someone who can be the person in the audience who's gauging the audience cause when you are performing, you can note some things, but you're not going to note it all down cause you're in the moment of performance is quite helpful to have someone who's on your side going well, that was good by actually I think it could be better or something like that because they're taking notes for you.


Bec Hill (14:37): Yeah, there's a lot of comics who also record themselves. So they'll do a video or audio recording and they'll either watch it back later or listen back later. I don't do that. If you do that, you will get further, faster. You will become a better comedian faster. I've never been in a rush. I'd rather not have to listen to myself and learn the long slow way than have to listen to myself. I think that would take the fun out of doing the gig for me, but there's some comics who are eyes on the prize. So, good for them.


Ben Yeoh (15:13): Well you got to keep it fun as well cause as soon as it doesn't get fun, I think that the whole thing collapses, but it's interesting cause I think when I reflect a lot of creatives, but particularly in comedy people on the outside don't realize quite how much craft has gone into what you see. It isn't maybe just that spontaneous, oh, I just thought about that. It's been very finely honed and that continues to get re-honed. One of the great things about your comedy is it strikes me is that you seem to be one of the rare comedians that crosses over age groups and a lot of things as well. I mean, into children's comedy. I mean, maybe not all of your things are aimed for children, but a lot of it actually would and you cross into the absurd, which I like, you use arts and crafts. You cross across kind of, I guess, you'd say nerds and docs and science fiction and those sort of interests. Do you find yourself kind of drawn to the fact that you can speak to such a wide cross section and I mean maybe more of that type of comedy kind of makes the world a better place, but yeah, it was interesting about your use of that and into children's comedy.


Bec Hill (16:25): Oh yeah. Well I was one of the many female comedians who got diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. So that helped explain a lot about how I don't like doing shows where I have to just stand there and talk. I find that very boring and exhausting. I like standing and talking and I can, but if I'm going to do it every day, I need some variety. So I've always tried to mix it up with a bunch of stuff. So, I might do a bit of observational type chat stuff, but I might also do a little game interactive thing or I might pull out the flip chart and do a bit with that. There's all sorts of things that I've done, called members of the audience out and done sketches and stuff with them or had dance breaks. Yeah, I like to switch it up cause that keeps me interested and involved and I think because kids generally have shorter attention spans, it just works well for kids and also I am a big kid at heart. I always have been and for a long time, people kept saying I should do stuff for kids and the stuff that I did wasn't aimed at children, some of it wasn't, it wasn't that it was overly inappropriate, but it just I reckon would be quite boring for kids cause it might be a set about working in a call center and kids don't care about that. But some of the other things obviously do work for children and I think-- I'm glad that that happened and people kept telling me to do more kids' stuff.


Bec Hill (18:20): I actually didn't have the guts to move into kids comedy on my own at the beginning. A friend of mine, Mark Trenwith, from Adelaide who's another standup comedian mainly for adults, but he wrote a kids' show and he's Mr. Snot bottom and it's done very well. I think he still is Mr. Snot Bottom. I think he tours around and does quite well off of it. I can't remember if he's had TV, but he's certainly the favorite and he brought the show over to Edinburgh Fringe one year and he had two characters. One was hanky and the other was flam. So I got to play Flam and when I say play Flam, I think I was one of those plastic ponchos and I think he just would call me in off of the side of the stage a couple of times in the show and I would help out with stuff, but it was mainly his show. It was just that I got a little bit of money out of it and got to be on stage and muck around. But then afterwards I was like, I could probably write something like this, this is really fun. And so I got together with another comedian called Tom Goodlift who isn't doing comedy at the moment, but he is very funny, an incredible writer and very, very tall and the other things are important but he's a talented comedian, he's a talented writer, but it helped that he was tall because we did a show called Bec and Tom, a double act and he's so much taller than me that it just looked funny.


Bec Hill (20:02): When we walked on stage, the size difference was funny and the images were funny to draw out, to get photos of and get printed. So that was the first thing I did was a bunch of sketches with Tom where we sort of played really heightened versions of ourselves and when that went well, there was a few times we got asked to do stuff together for other gigs when you work in a double act, you have to split the fee and sometimes the fee split just wasn't worth us both doing it. It just didn't work out financially and so I was like, all right, I'll start writing some stuff on my own so that if that happens, then I can be like, okay, I'll do the gig. So I started doing that and then Bec and Tom, we toured the show that we wrote with that for a while. It did really well. We developed it, we had it option and we developed it for a pilot for BBC which unfortunately didn't get past that stage.


Ben Yeoh (21:11): Oh, what do they know?


Bec Hill (21:12): I know and the thing is funny enough, there's still quite a few people at the [BBC] who are really sad it didn't get through every now and then. I mean, this was years ago now and I'll still end up working with them on other stuff and they'll be like, oh, I can't believe that never got through. I've still got the script. I will still send it out if I think that there's anyone who will take it, cause it was a fun show but when that ran its course and Tom started stepping back from comedy, I just kept at it with the kids' stuff and it became sort of a bigger and bigger part of what I do and yeah, it was fun. Weirdly I started to try and do more and more stand up for adults that did cross over into kids comedy and that actually made things really not just handy for me, cause it meant that I didn't have to write twice as much material, but also I was amazed at how often the adult audience has responded so well to the kids ones. And there's a flip chart I do that's-- it's like a list of volcanoes and it's all puns on the word volcano and it's really dumb and really silly and I did it for a kids' science show and they liked it. I did it later at an adult gig just to see how it went down and it went even way better than it did with the kids and I was like, oh, some adults just want some silly stuff that doesn't challenge them too much. And so yeah it sort of organically came about from there and has just been getting better at honing it for kids as time goes on.


Ben Yeoh (22:54): And has arts and craft always been a big part of your life as well as kind of coming into comedy? Or is it kind of you thought of like, oh, flip charts and stuff and a bit of arts and crafts and therefore it's become one of your things. I kind of feel like art and must have been a part of your life.


Bec Hill (23:13): Oh, absolutely. I think a lot of people, when you hear the term arts and crafts, it sort of brings up those craft shops. There's always an elderly lady that works there that listens to radio four or something, that sort of got this--


Ben Yeoh (23:39): Knitting in the corner.


Bec Hill (23:41): Exactly. There's a lot of that or people think of stuff that you maybe make in school usually with toilet rolls, which I'll be honest, toilet rolls are very handy. But it was more that I was creating-- as a kid, I would create stuff because it felt like it was a necessity, not like for living, but an example of one that I remembered recently was when I was in primary school, we were doing a school play and they needed all these characters to wear Australian cork hats and they're not going to buy a bunch of Australian cork hats for kids that will just end up getting missing or whatever. So they were like, oh, we're going to make our own and I remember our teacher showed us how to make a newspaper hat and then paint it brown and then put corks hanging off it. And I remember being furious as a kid because I was like that doesn't look like a hat, it looks ridiculous. That doesn't look like an Australian cork hat. You've got this strings, like there's no rim on it. So the string with the corks is just lying against your face and it' this weird sort of triangular shape. I just remember being really annoyed that it didn't look like a Australian hat. And so, we were allowed to use the arts and craft thing.


Bec Hill (25:11): So I took out some cardboard from the cupboard and made a strip to go around my head, the main band of a hat and then I traced out the circles into the card from that. And so then I made a top for it and the brim for it, as I cut out a big round circle, just made the shape of a hat out of card and then taped it together with masking tape and then painted over it and then put the corks on the end. And my teacher was really impressed and some of the kids started to copy me. This sounds like a massive brag, it's not. This is the only time that I've been a trend setter, but that's the sort of-- That's where all my arts and crafts comes from is normally because I'm like, either there's a better way to do this or just say, I wonder if this might work and then experiment and sometimes it doesn't. I've got a lot of flip charts that saw one gig and never [Inaudible:00:26:12] again. They're down by my feet right now actually. The whole room is full of them.


Ben Yeoh (26:21): Graveyard of flip charts.


Bec Hill (26:22): Graveyard of flip charts, but yeah, it's always been a part of my life [ ] If I've wanted something or needed something, that's usually when I start using it and likewise with when I started entering standup, because I wanted to do a sketch, I was 18 or something straight out of high school I just started doing stand up, I thought I'll try doing a sketch. I didn't have a partner to do the sketch with, I didn't want to pull someone out of the audience cause I was very new and that was very scary. The idea of working with someone else, too many variables at that age. I was like, I'm not a good enough comedian to handle this if it all goes wrong. So I was like, I'll draw a picture of the two characters and I'll give them moving mouths and then I'll move the mouth and you'll know which characters talking in the sketch and the sketch wasn't that good, but the moving mouth, everyone really liked that. That got a big laugh. I thought, oh, that's a big laugh for just moving paper. So I just started incorporating that into what I was doing and it sort of went from there.


Ben Yeoh (27:46): That's amazing. It strikes me that part of it is just cause it's you, it's part of you, which I guess comes to the stage and I see it in your work, you constantly kind of trying new things and you're seeing what's working and what's not working and that's evolved, which is this great kind of both curious mindset, but also evolves in your work and everything, which I think is really great. And also riffing back on the couple of other things you were saying, just the way that your work also seems to just span a lot of people like adults and children and where you think is kind of maybe more child orientated grownups like as well and I wonder, do you think that's perhaps a little of a newer generation of comics as well, who are a little bit more aware of that? Cause when I think back and I'm not so close to the comedy scene, but there's sort of a bunch of comedians who really defend their right to offend people.


Ben Yeoh (28:54): And I think it's true that comedy and humor can obviously shine a light on what it means to be human and jokes aren't always there to be funny and then that, but it seems to me that there's this kind of newer generation maybe who don't have to be that way, they don't have to offend or say, I guess we'd use the phrase, they're not necessarily punching down or cross demarginalized groups or anything like that, but just embracing whether it's word play or absurdism or other observational stuff about what it is to be human. And this right to offend seems to be just getting perhaps a little bit old school and I'm just thinking, do you think there is this newer movement in comedy and is this a kind of good thing in the wider aspects? Or did I maybe just miss out because some of those old school comedians were just such louder voices 10 or 20 years ago?


Bec Hill (29:46): Yeah, I would say it's a real mix and obviously this is just my opinion from my own experiences. So I can't for certain say that this is, or isn't the case, but I believe that a lot of that sort of it's my right to offend that sort of thing, that comedy comes from a lot of people who benefited from a system that primarily served them. So whether that's patriarch or an ableist society or a heteronormative society, whatever it is. That's not to say strategically it is those people, but quite often it's people that were in a society that served them. So they very rarely had to think about how their words have consequences or effects and as communication becomes easier with the internet and easier for people to open up and share their feelings, I mean, for every bad thing that the internet is blamed for, there's also a lot of positives. I've learned so much more about the plights of different people from seeing snippets on Twitter and then going from there into being more curious about it. I'm from a privileged position of being a cis white woman and there's a lot of things where I was one of those people who was like, I don't do politics, I don't think about politics, I don't do it. It took me a long time to realize that that is a privilege in itself because I'm in a position where it doesn't affect me, which means that I'm doing all right and the people that it does affect, that's why I should be paying attention to it because there is an inconsistency here.


Bec Hill (31:59): So I think because things are-- There's a lot of information I would never seek out earlier and now I would either not seek out or I would feel like was so much that I couldn't take it on board and the internet is nice because it means that you can take on information in the ways that you learn best. I might not learn well by sitting there and someone directly to me you need to know about this, this and this and this, but I love listening to podcasts and I will listen to a podcast where someone is being interviewed about race riots or something. And I will learn so much there because I am very well in that medium and I can take it on a bit more. So I think the internet's been good for that and it means that we have seen this sort of era of wokeness and people are becoming more and more aware of each other and themselves. And because of that, the people who were in those privileged positions are feeling very threatened because suddenly they're now being made aware that their words and actions have consequences and they didn't know about that before. Funnily enough, it all comes down to the fact that a lot of those people feel offended because they're suddenly like, oh, suddenly what I'm doing is wrong, but I've grown up believing that it's not wrong and now I'm being told it's wrong and it's being taken away from me.


Bec Hill (33:37): And so, they're angry about that and they're confused and I understand that, cause I think a lot of us, if we were in that privilege position, not all of us, cause obviously not everyone has been like that, but I think there's some people who would react in that way, but you just don't know cause you might not be in that or have ever been put in that position of privilege. I'm making it sound very complicated but essentially I think we are seeing more and more people being conscious of what they're saying when they're being given a platform. Of course there's a lot of people that aren't and you only have to look at politics in most countries to understand that, but it does feel like a lot of those platforms are owned by the people who feel like they're losing their position of privilege and they're freaking out and the next generation are finding new platforms to talk about this stuff. Yeah. And comedy and anything live really is a good place for that because it's a lot harder for-- Rupert Murdoch doesn't have the power to shut down every comedy club in London. You know what I mean?


Ben Yeoh (35:07): Comedy's always on that frontier, it's live. You can't lock it down. It spreads.


Bec Hill (35:13): Yeah, exactly. So, I do see that happening. One thing that I will say that I think isn't talked about enough, cause a lot of people talk about offensive comedy or anything like that and they talk about it within the confines of it's not even funny and what I don't like about that saying when people say it wasn't even funny is that it suggests that if it's funny enough, it makes it okay to say. And I think a big conversation that's got-- a lot of people think-- they say, you should be able to joke about anything and I think it's less about-- You can make anything funny, but I think the question is is that the right thing to do? I could make a joke about something that would get a really big laugh. I mean, for instance homeless people are still very much the butt of the joke in stuff whether it's TV or just jokes or just in conversation. People will still say something about, I thought you were homeless or like, oh the bum or something and it might not even be that harsh, but it's enough to say that is a bad thing. If you were that thing, that is bad, which then reinforces the idea that when you see a homeless person, they are bad and they are not worth the same amount of respect as someone who isn't down, having a tough time and that then builds, it turns into this sort of Indiana Jones sized boulder that eventually comes out into, we don't think that they are of the same--


Ben Yeoh (37:16): Value, worth.


Bec Hill (37:17): -- That we need to care about. Exactly. Thank you. Yeah, value and worth and therefore our system aren't put in place to look after them and not even look after them, just to make sure that people don't end up in that position and I feel like there's a lot to be said about I mean the analogy I always say is that it's a bit like-- just because a poisonous berry is delicious, doesn't make it any less poisonous and I feel that same way about comedy. I think just cause something is funny, doesn't make it not toxic.


Ben Yeoh (37:59): Yeah. I mean you can make art about anything. I think that is true, but should you make art about everything? That seems to be very wise thoughts from you.


Bec Hill (38:12): And it's more about what you're saying, I think, it's the message. What is the message? What are you actually saying with your art or your joke or whatever? You've got to look at why you've said that and why you think it's funny or why you think it needs to be said.


Ben Yeoh (38:31): Yeah. And reflecting about a couple of things you said about I guess woke and the internet and things. Woke [ ] in its kind of original sense was to be awake, to be alert to these things where we weren't. I certainly wasn't alert to all of some of these things and I think the internet, social media is a little bit like the force, there's the dark side, but there's the light side and it depends on whether you are the Jedi or [Sith] about it because to your point, I've learned a lot from social media about neurodivergence, disability, a lot of these things, which I don't think I could have learned about easily in any other way, really. I mean, it was possible, but it wasn't just going to come to my fore which I think is quite interesting on both of those things. And I was speaking to another comedy actor Sally Phillips the other week and disability came up because she has a son with down syndrome and so there was a lot of that on awareness. But also faith came up because she's got quite a strong Christian faith and I think that's also one area, which I don't think I would've learned as much about without social media and the things. And I've picked up that it's come sort of later on in your life as being kind of quite important to you. So I'd be interested in your reflections and it was kind of interesting about what you were saying about how we treat people like homeless people and I think people, for instance-- obviously we can all, and I'm kind of making some mass generalization here, but if you can think about faith in things, that's one of the ways that we get to treat humans as humans, no matter kind of where we're kind of been and come from. So, I think maybe it's quite an important component, but I'd be interested if that has reflected at all in your comedy or your work, or has it just been much more a personal reflection on how you're living your life?


Bec Hill (40:32): I don't think it noticeably reflects in-- I don't purposefully set out for my work to reflect it, but I hope that it does. I think if I'm doing my faith and my beliefs justice, then I hope that there is an element of what I put out that sort of carries on that message and people are able to take from it what is needed. Faith is really hard and it's not so much the believing actually. The believing, I sort of deal with like most people, there's ebbs and flows, sometimes you might be like, yes, absolutely, I believe in God, I believe that Jesus was a part of God's plan, I believe in the messages of Jesus. And then other days I might be like, maybe there isn't, I don't know, who knows cause that's life. We don't know. We don't know. And I think it's a really important thing is to understand that we don't know because as soon as you say you are sure you are wrong, cause no one is sure. There isn't proof in the same sense that there's proof that I am touching my desk right now. It's a lot harder to put into terms like that and faith is very helpful, but at the same time, yeah, it's really hard. I try and read through the new Testament in pieces. I haven't been as good in the last year or so because I was trying to do loads of other things and stuff always falls apart.


Bec Hill (42:47): I was doing daily exercise until a couple of months ago until stopped doing that but I remember reading a passage that for some reason it hadn't stood out to me in the past and it was essentially one of those lines about if you find someone who is in trouble and you take them in or if you find someone who's in trouble and you turn them away, they were saying whatever you do to that person, you do to me. Jesus saying I am in every person. So if you turn your back on someone who needs help, you are turning your back on me and it hits me in a way that I don't think it had before. Because homelessness is so prevalent in London, when I moved here, I very quickly sort of stopped seeing them because you start to try not to look out for the people you see on the street. You sort of try to just keep your eyes ahead and you tell yourself, I don't have time to stop and talk, I don't have change, or it's a part of a bigger problem so it wouldn't really make a difference. Quite often my excuse to myself is about my safety. I know if that person is safe, they might try and attack me, they're bigger than me. I don't know how this is going to react. There's so many things we can tell ourselves to try and avoid and you can apply this to anything. You can apply it to any sort of injustices you see regularly in life. It's so easy to turn a blind eye to it.


Bec Hill (44:50): I remember after reading that, it hurts. It makes it harder. There's still times where I'll be running because I'm running late for something and I'm running and I run past a homeless person and my brain replays that phrase and it's like, whatever you do to them, you do to me. And I think, oh, I should really stop and talk to them, I don't have time and then I'll have this internal debate where this voice is like at least make eye contact, let that person know that you saw them and you know they exist, at least give them that. And every now and then I won't, I'm too scared cause if I make eye contact, they might want to talk and then I have to stop and then I'll be late but I'm glad I have those internal struggles. And I think it's that sort of accountability side of faith that I think-- It's very easy to have. There's a lot that the church has done wrong as a whole and for our listeners, I classify myself as Christian so I'm just talking about my experiences with that. I can't say for any other faiths, but I think there is a lot to not like about what other Christians have done or what other people have done in the name of God or Jesus or their general beliefs in that area and I absolutely appreciate people's concerns with it.


Bec Hill (46:27): I've seen all different levels of different types of Christian and there's a lot that I don't agree with and then there's some that I heavily agree with or I really emulate but I think one thing is that we are very good at focusing on, again, it's like the same with the other problems. It's like, oh yeah, but the church is broken, the people in charge are corrupt, it's all about money or it's all about power. They're still to blame, but in essence the problem is is that people keep thinking about that and if everyone was to think about the faith and what that means and the message of being better and creating a world that other people are just as happy to live in as we are, then if we were to all concentrate on that, then those bigger things wouldn't be an issue, but that is hard cause it involves us giving up some part of our privilege. Whereas my privilege is running to work and having a coffee meeting or whatever it is that I'm doing and I don't want to give up that privilege and we don't like being held accountable for that and I think a lot of people don't realize that that is a big part of pushing away any type of faith is because we don't like the idea of having to be accountable for the things about ourselves that we don't--


Ben Yeoh (48:03): Blame it on the system or on something else, yeah. That's really profound and I would just echo, I don't particularly have faith myself, but from what I've heard from other people whose grappling with it is completely okay. I live in North Kensington, which is near Carmelite Monastery and there is a set of nuns there who sequester away and pray for us, the world all day, every day with quite strict vows and it was a very rare documentary about this monastery, which has been there for decades and the head of that order was saying she-- So, she went there after university, her dad forced her to go to university first. She went to Cambridge and then she turned up on the monastery's doorstep saying, this is the life for me. I think she was the head of the order for some time. She spent several years in a crisis of faith whilst still there.


Bec Hill (49:12): Wow.


Ben Yeoh (49:12): Only years later did that resolve. So it happens to even the most committed. Maybe coming down to our last couple of sections. One I did want to touch on, cause it also seems to be really important to you in your work was just having the ADHD diagnosis, but part of also a lot more people getting it as an adult, also, it seems to be a lot more women actually both on autism and ADHD because it kind of seems to express differently. I didn't know whether we would reflect on-- What do you think is maybe most misunderstood about it when people get a bit more confused, what would you like people to know? Has it been sort of helpful for you to have a diagnosis and is it still quite misunderstood when you meet people about it?


Bec Hill (50:05): Oh I think there's a lot of, well, a lot of people who I either mention it to who I've just met or friends who've known me for years are not surprised at all. That was a big thing. Funnily enough, my cousin called me because he got diagnosed and his doctor asked if anyone in the family had it because sometimes it can sort of be quite common amongst different genes. And he said, he thinks I do, but he wasn't sure. So he called me to ask if I've been diagnosed and I was like, "No" and I was like, oh, but he and I are quite similar and so he suggested that go and get checked out and then when I was cleaning out my cupboards, I found that my doctor had actually given me a questionnaire thing to fill out about ADHD over a year beforehand and I'd forgotten and I hadn't filled it out which I think should be an automatic pass. So I did eventually. It's been interesting having the diagnosis. It's been helpful in terms of communicating with other people because before I think people would-- I was quite negative to myself and I still am to an extent, but I was far more negative to myself. I was very much like I've got bad hearing or I can't multitask or I can't do this and it was very much about I'd have to broadcast to people what I'm not good at in order to work with them and that's never a good position to be in, especially when you're freelance to say to someone, if we're going to work together, these are my weaknesses.


Bec Hill (52:17): It's not a bad thing to be honest about your weaknesses, but it's much easier to say if we do this I have ADHD, it helps if I do this. It cuts out a lot of guesswork. So for instance, I used to get teased a lot, even as an adult, but I get teased a lot because you know, friendly teased, not horrifically teased, but I have a habit that my husband calls the verbal foot in the door. When you listen to this, there's probably people who go, oh yeah, I have picked up on that, but I haven't even noticed that I'm doing it, but I will say uuhh even if I have nothing to say, because I'm trying to find whatever thread it was that was in my head that maybe ran through and I didn't grab in time and while I'm doing that, I just make the noise as if I'm about to say something until I find it and sometimes that's quite a lot. And so people will sit there waiting for me to say what it is, but know what I'm about to say because I'm trying to find it. So I'll sit there going uh and my husband is like, "Oh, it's the verbal foot in the door." You're like, I'm going to say the next thing, I'm just preserving this space cause what will happen is if I don't do that and someone starts talking, then I will definitely lose the thread and then I will spend the entire time when they're talking, trying to remember what the thread was and not listening to them talking.


Bec Hill (54:06): So that was a bit easier because people were able to go, oh, this is because you really struggle to concentrate on one thing, cause everything goes through your head at the same time. So that was really just good to know about myself and it also really helped because the way that my psychiatrist explained it to me is that um ADHD or at least with the type that I've been diagnosed with, I'm not sure if it's different with different people, but she was saying that it basically means that your dopamine levels are on average lower than other people's dopamine levels and the way that you find to cope with that is to create adrenaline fueled situations so that you pick up your dopamine naturally. But because when you do that, you go past the point that you need it and so you crash and then you do it again. And so your whole life is--


Ben Yeoh (55:22): Up and down.


Bec Hill (55:22): --getting Very excited, very energetic, all of this and then suddenly, you sit there staring into space and you're completely useless for hours because you are trying to even out that wave. And there's one reason in particular that women have been diagnosed more recently and that is because there just wasn't any research done on women and they're only just now realizing this. And so in hindsight, they're like, oh-- I specifically remember someone asking my mom if I had ADHD and she got very sort of defensive because when I was growing up, ADHD meant that you were one of the naughty kids and I wasn't naughty.


Ben Yeoh (56:18): Yeah or something is wrong with you, yeah.


Bec Hill (56:21): Yeah. And I wasn't naughty. I liked running up the slide. I liked jumping off of things. But it wasn't always that energetic, you know, it was talking. I talked a lot. I had a lot of ideas that I wanted to talk about all the time but then if something caught my attention and I went into hyper focus mode, I did not want to be disturbed. I didn't want anyone to talk to me and if you did talk to me, I wouldn't hear. One thing I always say especially to my husband, I'm like, if you need to tell me something, make sure I'm looking you in the eyes, because if I'm not looking at the eyes, I'm probably gone. It's probably not going in. So that was really helpful just to understand that there isn't anything wrong with me and that I'm not just an annoying person. It's just that I am wired in a particular way and the reason that a lot of performers are being diagnosed now, and actually there's a lot that were diagnosed during the pandemic is because comedy or anything freelance art, that sort of stuff, it lends itself and you can work your own hours and you can actually fit your life around that wiring so that it works.


Bec Hill (57:42): So a lot of people don't realize that it actually serves them or that they have it because they've been doing fine compared to how other people might be like I could never do what you do and it's like, well, I actually couldn't sit at a desk all day and do the same thing every day, I would go mad. And then when the pandemic happened, everyone was forced to be at home and just basically a lot of people were like, there's something wrong, why can't I do things at the-- why is this bad? What's happening? And yeah, a lot of people suddenly went, oh, how come this is so much harder than it seems to be for-- I mean, obviously it was hard for everyone, but there was a real anxiety to do-- It's hard to explain. It wasn't an anxiety to do with the pandemic or anything, it was just an anxiety to do with-- Like, I get anxious about planning in a way that is very detrimental if I have to live to that and sometimes you do, but.


Ben Yeoh (58:53): Yeah, but not being in control. Okay, great. Well, I'm going to do a tiny last quick fire section and then wrap up. So I was going to kind of do a kind of how-- you can either do it sort of overrated, underrated or how best to use this thing. So just a few, whatever comes up, you can pass if that-- So overrated, underrated, or how best to use duct tape.


Bec Hill (59:22): Oh wait, when you say over-- do I just say overrated or underrated?


Ben Yeoh (59:28): Yeah, you can. Yeah, you can go, oh, duct tape is overrated.


Bec Hill (59:30): Did you say how best to use?


Ben Yeoh (59:32): Yeah, how best to use it.


Bec Hill (59:32): I'm going to come up with something for everything.


Ben Yeoh (59:34): Okay. Let's do it, how best to use duct tape. How best should we use duct tape?


Bec Hill (59:38): Well, I made a bag out of duct tape. I can't remember where I put it, but I made a bag out of it.


Ben Yeoh (59:45): That's best used of duct tape.


Bec Hill (59:46): It was based on the wallet technique that we used on make away takeaway just to make a simple wallet and then I made a whole handbag out of it and I can't remember what I've done with it, but it's somewhere around the house.


Ben Yeoh (59:54): Great. We should do that. That's definitely underrated. Okay. PVA glue.


Bec Hill (01:00:00): Best use is to cover your hands in it and then let it dry and then peel it off and pretend that you've got sunburn, but it doesn't hurt.


Ben Yeoh (01:00:06): Oh, great. I've not done that. I should use that.


Bec Hill (01:00:09): Oh, it's fun. It's really nice peeling it off.


Ben Yeoh (01:00:12): What's the best way of falling down without hurting yourself.


Bec Hill (01:00:18): Oh, have a crash mat. If you do have a crash mat when you fall, I remember learning this, if you're falling backwards make sure you land sort of on the flat of your back, where the shoulder blades are because that's a strong part and not your neck. Don't your neck or the lower spine.


Ben Yeoh (01:00:39): I learned that on your podcast.


Bec Hill (01:00:41): Oh, yes.


Ben Yeoh (01:00:44): What's the best system for voting? What's the best voting system?


Bec Hill (01:00:48): Oh, I mean, I should know that because we talked about it on the podcast, but I already can't remember. I think it's a party-less system. I think that we should have to vote on individual policies and when it's blind, we don't know who represents them so that the personality doesn't come into effect.


Ben Yeoh (01:01:07): Okay. That's very good. What's the best Christmas present?


Bec Hill (00:01:13): Oh, something that will make you do something that you wouldn't do otherwise. I know that sounds like a weird one, but my favorite ever Christmas present was a portfolio big enough to carry my flip charts in and after that I started to do more flip charts cause I could carry them to gigs.


Ben Yeoh (01:01:35): Yeah. That's very good. And last one of this: what's the best use for glitter?


Bec Hill (01:01:43): Well, I would say put it everywhere. I've always been a fan of when you put it in a jar with water and you turn it into a snow globe thing. My husband hates glitter, so he would say just don't--


Ben Yeoh (01:01:56): In the toilet.


Bec Hill (01:01:57): Not even that. He doesn't like it in the house. It genuinely upsets him. We are very opposite in that sense.


Ben Yeoh (01:02:08): And then final question, do you have any thoughts or advice for people, either young people or career or just on getting on in the world? Is there anything you'd like to share in terms of Bec Hill's advice?


Bec Hill (01:02:24): Oh, that's poor.


Ben Yeoh (01:02:26): Is that too hard for the last one?


Bec Hill (01:02:28): No. This is the thing that I want on my tombstone. This is a very specific piece of advice, which I just hope helps people who were in my position when I first started. When I first went to do standup, I emailed a comedian called Justin Hamilton, who ended up being my mentor and I still hold very dear in my heart. He's a fantastic comic from Australia and I said, "I'm going to start doing standup, what advice do you have?" And he said, "When you are rehearsing your first set, when you're practicing hold something in your hand. Whether it's a remote control or your hairbrush, hold it in your hand and hold it in front of your mouth. Keep doing that, whenever you're rehearsing your set, whenever you're going through your set, even if you're just running through it, hold it in your hand, in front of your mouth," he said, "Because then when you get on stage, that won't feel weird and he was dead right." It was a night where everyone else, it was their first time doing standup as well and everyone either kept forgetting they're holding the mic and it would go over here or suddenly they were down one hand and they weren't sure how to do something because they'd been rehearsing with both hands free and they didn't know how to show something. Everyone was struggling and it was of a huge advantage that I just went on, grabbed the mic and just felt natural.


Bec Hill (01:04:02): So yeah, it's a very specific piece of advice but if anyone's either starting to stand up or just learning a speech where you won't have a mic stand or something like that practice holding something in your hand, in front of your mouth. You'll feel so much more natural.


Ben Yeoh (01:04:15): That is super practical. So if you're going to practice with it and then I think I'm going to extend it, which is if you are going to perform or do anything and the situation going to be different to how you were rehearsing it, try and make the rehearsal bit, whether this is a mic or however it is, rehearse with it so that when you're in your final performance or when you're doing it, you're not going to feel that it's all weird but I will remember that if I have to rehearse with a mic. Well, Bec Hill, thank you very much. Check out her book, I'm holding a copy for those on that that she's written. You can check her out on the web, on Twitter, social media, everywhere. She is fantastic and awesome. Thank you Bec.


Bec Hill (01:04:59): Thanks Ben. Can I call you Ben? I feel like I've just instantly assumed I can give you a short nickname, Ben. You might be like, I am Benjamin and I'm Benjamin.


Ben Yeoh (01:05:08): No, I've always Ben. I think it's only my mom who shouts Benjamin sometimes when she's annoyed with me, which is typical. Does anyone ever call you Rebecca? Like your mom when she's really annoyed with you, that's it right or something?


Bec Hill (01:05:20): Oh, I mean, now it's normally when she's doing fake annoyed and she'll be like, oh Rebecca, it's that sort of fun thing, but I've got friends who will insist occasionally on using the whole-- I mean, I think everyone has a friend who likes to go for the full formal name as for a bit of fun and I quite like calling Matt Parker, Matthew Parker. Feels--


Ben Yeoh (01:05:43):Do you have a comedy middle name?


Bec Hill (01:05:46):My middle name is Natani.


Ben Yeoh (01:05:49):So you'd be Rebecca Natani Hill. So that would be like, get in here Rebecca Natani Hill.


Bec Hill (01:05:53):Yeah, that's it. You get in here? Yeah. What's your middle name? Do you have one?


Ben Yeoh (01:05:58):Yes, I have one. It would be Seng Loong , which kind of means powerful or rising dragon because in Chinese I would be known as Yeoh Seng Loong  because you do the family name first and then that way. And so Ben or Benjamin is the other one. So there was some thought that I would be perhaps back in Asia [ ].


Bec Hill (01:06:24): Oh, well, good to know.


Ben Yeoh (01:06:25): And your middle name has Aboriginal roots.


Bec Hill (01:06:32): Yes, it does. You've either done a fantastic research or that was a very good guess and actually what I will say is, I don't know-- See, I was told it had roots, but my parents just didn't know which tribe because obviously there's loads of different dialects in Australia different tribes and they weren't sure which people the word came from, but it's supposedly meant to try. And I started to get quite curious because my mom had always told me that, but I'd never been able to find any proof of it. And so I asked her about it and she said that they'd chosen it from a newspaper article about a guy who had, I don't know, done some sailing thing or something in the eighties and the boat was called the Natani and in the article it said, which is an Aboriginal word, meaning to try and that was what they took it from. But the guy who was sailing was a white guy so I don't know if that's true or the reporter could have just added it. So now I feel quite like, oh, cultural appropriation more so but it was my parents trying to, with good intentions at the time.


Ben Yeoh (01:07:55): Yeah, well, they were very good--


Bec Hill (01:07:56): I have found that it is a real name in other places. I think there's several people with the first name Natani, both male and female from South America who like my Facebook page cause I remember going, "Oh, a Natani, I didn't know that was a name." So maybe it's Aboriginal, maybe it's Spanish or Portuguese or something.


Ben Yeoh (01:08:16): Very good, but it had good intentions which is a good note to end on. So thank you.


Bec Hill (01:08:22): Ah, thanks Ben. Bye.


Ben Yeoh (01:08:26): If you appreciate the show, please like and subscribe as it helps others find the podcast.

In Podcast, Arts, Theatre, Writing Tags Podcast, Bec Hill, Comedy, Arts, Writing

Sally Phillips: clowning, comedy, family life, disability and faith | Podcast

August 18, 2021 Ben Yeoh

Sally Phillips is well known for her award winning acting, writing and comedy. She had  roles in 'I'm Alan Partridge', 'Smack the Pony', 'Green Wing', and 'Miranda'; and in the US, Veep.  In 2016 she fronted the documentary 'A World Without Down's Syndrome?' (BBC2). I think she should be better known for her disability rights advocacy.   You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram.   

We talk about types of clowning and why the clown always says ‘yes’; the challenges of older women roles in the entertainment industry and discuss the differences between US comedy and British comedy

We chat about the importance of faith to Sally and what the aphorism:  there being two routes to God (love and suffering) means. We talk about embracing uncertainty, being curious and open minded and the practice of prayer.

The disability community is important to us. We both have children with disabilities. We talk in detail about how that impacts us, how the mainstream world interacts with the disabled and despite the challenges how  to have fulfilled lives. How we’ve been taught to live in the moment.

Sally ends with advice for fledgling creatives and expectant mothers.

Ollie make guest start experience telling us the best thing about having Down’s.

Podcast and transcript below, video above.

Podcast links:

Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3gJTSuo

Spotify: https://sptfy.com/benyeoh

Anchor: https://anchor.fm/benjamin-yeoh

Listen here:

Transcript (unedited, typos likely)

Welcome to Ben Yeoh Chats…My personal podcast. If you're curious about the world, this show is for you!

What does it mean to be a clown?  What does disability teach us as humans and as parents?

In this episode, I speak to Sally Phillips.  We discussed how Sally thinks about comedy and how we found the joys and challenges of parenting a disabled child.  If you enjoy the show, please like and subscribe as it helps others find the podcast.

Hey…everyone. I'm super excited to be chatting to Sally Phillips.  Sally is an all-round amazing human, perhaps best known for her award-winning acting, comedy, writing, and directing, but I think she should perhaps be better known for her disability rights advocacy as well.

Sally, welcome.

Sally Phillips:   Hi Ben, thank you for having me – lovely to be here.  I'm looking forward to it.

Ben Yeoh:  So, is it true (I think I read or heard somewhere) that you've been to four clown schools - I mean are there even four clown schools in this country or did you do the whole Jacques Lecoq thing or Italian Country Escape?  Are there actually four clown schools or did you exaggerate?

Sally:  There probably are four clown schools here and I did three of them here in fact.  Philippe Gaulier, (you are correct) who used to teach with Jacques Lecoq.  I did clown with him and he's the master.  He's pretty much the best (I think).  

He taught lots of things because there was a month of clowning and that was definitely his Piece de Resistance, and I studied with John Wright who did Trestle Theater Company.  If you remember them with the huge masks, he taught in Middlesex for a long time.  He's a great clown enthusiast and he had a company called, Told by An Idiot.  He did amazing clown work.

Then I did with Angela de Castro.  She is a Brazilian clown who worked with Slava on the Snowshow.  She's legendary for running a Natzi Clown School in Buenos Aires, but it wasn't very Natzi when I did it here.

 

Sally:  We said the dogs might bark.  I've got three kids and four dogs.  It's close to mammal hoarding, isn't it ?  

Ben:  I think you put it in your Instagram account mother. 

Sally:  Yes, we just got a puppy.  I don't know why, well I do know why because I can't say “No” and I fell in love with these puppies.  Someone said you are the breeders and they were really nice.  I am going to show you the puppies, very cute.

Ben:  That is super cute.

Sally:  That is really hard to resist.  But then Yana who I lived with, you just saw.  She just as I was about to get one of these, got an English Bull Terrier puppy.  So, I was like, “Oh we can't get a puppy now because you've got the English Bull Terrier and then the breeders kept getting in touch, saying you've skipped that later, would you like the next later and after a while I said, Yes I would really. So, we've just got this one.  You know, how many dogs is too many?  I would say four is too many.  There’re no more drugs than our dogs. 

 

Ben:  Isn't that like this clowning technique, isn't it essentially the technique where you just YES and keep all the coming, and it's hilarious.  Maybe it taught you too well and you've taken it.

 

Sally:  Clown always says Yes, and in fact one of my disability advocacy friends calls me – she says you're Japanese Sally, can't say, No.  The combination of just say, Yes, and see what happens.  This always leads to disaster of course, which is why clowning is funny.  Always saying Yes always leads to disaster and awkward situations and that's why clowns are really shy, but yes, not a good policy for life, it turns out.

 

Ben:  I am guessing, in clowning you can do comedy, so I'm not completely well read up but you can have two schools of thought in clowning.  There's the clown-clown and this kind of Bouffon clown?

 

Sally:  Yes, that's exactly right.

Ben:  Like how you do and you have a higher-lower form of doing real lower people?

Sally:  I think one is “laughing at” so Bouffon came from the disability community, so in Paris, they used to have all the disabled people living in the forests outside of Paris and then once a year they would come in.  That's the hunchback of Notre Dame.  Come in and there would be a parade which everyone thought was hilarious where the king would play a pauper and these disabled people play kings and whatever.  The Bouffon tradition comes out for that and in really pure Bouffon, people still put outfits on with sort of hunchbacks and lumps and bumps, and then they might say things like, “it's kind of satire, it's sort of horrible in a way.  They thank you for putting me in the ghetto, and they are smiling. 

I guess that isn't really satire but then on top of that, you have satire and wit which is just very cerebral and not many hearts.  Clown, I think is human nature just in its most raw, nude, and uncertain form because I think really it's what happens when you take the mask off, so lots of clown school exercises to reveal what's going underneath.  So, one thing that happened is Gaulier got four up at once, (I don't know if you've heard much about him but he's famously rude, he's just horrible to everyone, I mean it's sort of funny).

It hurts the person and the person's hurt makes you laugh and love them and it's great training for the industry.  He gets four people up at once and he's videoing you.  Then he has four of you sitting on a bench and he gets one person to stand up at a time and then he asks you questions when you're standing up and kind of humiliates you.  He does that one by one, and then they replay their footage that they've actually been shooting the three people sitting on the bench.  So, you don't know you're being filmed and it's completely gripping because people are laughing along with Gaulier jokes which always are very acerbic and spot-on about the person and feeling really sorry for the person and really frightened themselves about what was going to happen to them in a minute and thrilled that it wasn't them being humiliated.  So, it was people with their defenses down because they thought they weren't being looked at.  It's fascinating and also beautiful or sort of pathetic or pathetic uncertainty and hopes and dreams revealed and that’s what clown does really-really well.

 

We're both parents of people with disabilities.  I think that's what is familiar to me about living in a special needs world.  It does quite often feel like clown school with all the terrible pain of clown school.  The hilarious recognition that we're all completely ridiculous.  The more precious a part of your character is to you, the more ridiculous it is to other people.

 

Ben:  I was quickly kind of reviewing over the last few days your comedy work and you just have such a vast range and your imagination.  A lot of it's quite physical.  I was just wondering, does that come from some of it being taught on things or is it just creative imagination from having to write because you've written skits and your sketch shows and now you're acting in all of these things as well?

 

Sally:  The physical stuff.  Well, I came into acting via physical theatre, so I did sort of sub-complicity style things.  I toured the UK during A-level text, French A-level texts. Therese Desqueyroux, I played Guy de Maupassant, I played A Prostitute Dying of Syphilis, torturing Gay de Maupassant once he died because he didn’t give her a sympathetic write-up that kind of thing.  Lots of cartwheeling and playing lots of different characters.  That was very useful for going into sketches and with this training, I did French and Italian training and that was much more physical than British training.  British training is very vocal and psychological, I think.  I trained with someone who worked with Daddy of Four in Italy.  There was a lot of mind in that.  I guess I really liked it and I think it's a really interesting way.  I think I often create characters or used to create characters outside in, so I'd get the costume, walk, hair and voice and then start putting the psychology in. 

Then the other question about the imagination, I think I have always had a completely very lateral mind.  I think that's partly to do with having this fractured upbringing being brought up overseas and changing countries every year and a half so the connections I'm making are not the same connections as everyone else.  So, I think if everyone else had had my background, they wouldn't seem so lateral, but what is sort of normal to me seems really left field to other people.  Then when you're in a situation where you're getting a genuine answer and everyone's laughing, it's my genuine answer to that question.

 

Ben:  That makes a lot of sense.  You've done some quite US comedy because of Veep and everything, is that quite different from British comedy as well, do you think?

 

Sally:  I think um US comedy is quite different from British comedy, though they're getting more similar but Veep is actually a British Show.

 

Ben:  Yes, it's the political comedy thing.

 

Sally:  Yes, it was in London.  It was interesting when the American crew took over.  It was really interesting for me because the script had less intelligence which I wasn't expecting.  It's not that they're less intelligent, but there was a lot more freedom and they were just a lot less repressed. 

 

Ben:  They are more physical acting rather than the gags.

 

Sally:  Yes, and there was this sort of virtue, I say swearing with the British crew that sort of course comes from being enormously repressed and the Americans just have sex.  So their stuff, they want to be talking about to shock.  They had to be choked, this was a big joke and this is something I didn't even know was a thing. I suppose Michael Hutchins, they rang a vague bell but really not something that had appeared in my world but that that was where American comedy was at.  It was quite different.

 

Ben:  It's also noticeable because strong female leads, slightly older or older female leads as well and we don't see a lot of that on the screen really like female actors as they get older, don't really get parts.  Actually, they're often not the writers or the directors as well and I wonder whether you think that's actually changing at all but before we even get on to the fact that we don't see much disability on our screens and all of the other things, we haven't even seen it in and seeing women on screen in these great roles.  It doesn't seem to me like they're not necessarily written, although I guess that's part of it.  Is it changing at all or is it still just the old power systems?

 

Sally:  The figures are quite depressing.  To me, it feels like it must be changing because I'm working…but the figures are really depressing.  So, what's happening is now a parity of numbers, so it's something like 52% male parts, 48 female parts something like that but they are older men and young women.

Ben:  And the men can kind of play any role and the women…

 

Sally:  For example, I had lunch yesterday with Patricia Hodge.  She's 70, I think or 72 something like that.  She is playing the mother of Roger Allen or mother-in-law of Roger Allen who she played opposite 40 years ago.  So, the same age, but she's now playing his mother and he's married to somebody in their late 30s.  That's the screen thing.  For example, in 2019, BAFTA's leading actress – they did a survey and they found that in the previous 20 years, the average age of the best actress nominees had gone down by 20 years whereas the guys had gone down by three years meaning that in 2019, Brad Pitt as the youngest male nominee was still three years older than Laura Dern as the oldest female nominee.  So, now when people say to me, “my daughter wants to act, should she go to drama school.  I kind of say, NO.  Schools are great now for people between 17 and 25.  So, if you used to be able to go to university and then drama school, somebody like Nicola Walker did that, she went to Cambridge and then went on to RADA ( I think).  You've missed the boat if you're 25 because by the time you come out, you've really missed the boat and that's too late.

So, yes, I think there are parts written for women who are older but they routinely cast 20 years younger. A man in his 50s would have a wife in her 30s or 20s.  So, it's not that the parts aren't there, it's just that what women actually look like and behave like and speak like and think like, isn't being represented by those people.  So, then this pressure for someone like Nicole Kidman to present with a young face.  Sort of baby face and have loads of fillers and all the rest of it.  It's quite hard to know what to do, I haven't done any of that. I'm beginning to lose my nerve. I'm not going to do that.  I don't need to do that, I do comedy.

 

Ben:  I guess you've got to write and direct your own parts then but…

 

Sally:  Then you see your neck and you are like, “Oh my god, is that really what it looks like.  It’s you and different from 10 years ago.”

 

Ben:  But then these gatekeepers are actually also not necessarily with the program either, so you're stuck there as well.

 

Sally:  It is hard to know what to do because you have to sell these things because so much of it is aspirational.  In our office, we have a way opposite, a tiny indie that makes boutique indie films and opposite us is Matthew Vaughn's Company that makes Kingsmen, and you just remember it.  They've got a whole branding section.  Just remind them that a lot of that is about then flogging the toys and nobody wants to look normal, do they?  Everyone wants to escape with those films.  It reminds me a bit of when I made this documentary about Down’s syndrome screening and I went to meet Professor George Church at Harvard Medical School who had been doing Sequenced the Genome, the human genome. 

He was busy making a map, the connectome of all the...I don't have the language.  I'm not a scientist.  All the connections in the brain.  I suppose doing the same.  The brain, the connectome, is the brain equivalent of the genome.  He said to me in the future, “we will be able to switch mental states so we might build a switch on an autistic state.  If we've got a lot of data analysis to do quickly or we might want to switch on ADHD state if we want to be a performer, be a stand-up comedian, (there might be different states) and we might be able to switch in and out.  He said to me but would anyone ever want to switch into a Down’s syndrome state.  Of course, I think yes because Ollie does seem to be very happy and I think we've over prioritized intelligence or rational thoughts.

 

Ben:  I'd agree, I was going to come to that.  I was just saying that actually you're one of the humans in this world who've actually made me shed tears but not as you might have thought tears of joy because of your comedy, although maybe it came close but actually tears of empathy or loss while watching your documentary on Down’s and the screening.  I had the impression as we know disability and disability in the family has plenty of challenges, but that people have completely missed the aspect there are plenty of joys, essentially being human and being human is all of these imperfections and all of these types of things as well and that.  I guess people on the outside or even people kind of involved in well-intentioned areas of medicine and things, just don't see that lived experience or just somehow missed that and if you then cut all of this out, you're diminishing humanity which almost seems like too grandiose to sort of say but it kind of the point and that's part of what I got from your documentary work.  I don't know if that's kind of one of the themes you were getting at?

 

Sally:  I’m like you, I’m just someone who thinks too much probably about everything that presents itself in my life.  Since that documentary, apart from thinking, Gosh, everything really is as corrupt as you thought it wasn't, as you thought it couldn't possibly be; so apart from that, I think it feels like we're on the crest of a wave of people beginning to realize that the brain isn't where everything is.  So, there was that book about 10 years ago, the book on the guts.  People made lots of jokes about George Bush's gut brain as opposed to his brain-brain.  I was in the photographer's gallery today and there was a whole book on “Breath” talking about how we need to reconnect with the non-brain bits that make us human.  This reemergence of – everyone seems to be meditating.  People seem to be trying to cut the brain out to give themselves peace and to get breakthroughs and enlightenment.  It seems like I just have to shut the brain off somehow.  

 

I was talking to someone yesterday who's going, he just drives circuits in quite a fast car around his house to shut off the noise in his brain because it's not always helpful and the thing that struck me with the documentary was that all the people who've been in charge of defining, particularly learning disability, are people who have a predisposition towards thinking that intelligence is a priority because that's where they score highly.  So, of course professors of medicine are going to value what they have very highly. But, we can see, sometimes not very clearly, through a bit of a fog that there really is plenty more – there is often a better way. 

 

I find this quite interesting because the one area of learning disability that the establishment have been interested in is where there is obvious and impressive intelligence so autistic savants.  That's very annoying for the autistic community because most of the autistic community are not savants… There's plenty more to say about that.  I was called up on myself because we all have different levels of it.  [Tell me when I’m talking too much by the way because you are equally as interesting as I am]. 

 

I was asked to talk at a conference for a profound and multiple learning disability which was ridiculous because I was being asked to talk at that because I was on the Tele in a sitcom.  I didn't really know anything about it.  Someone said to me (I think they were so nice, i don't think they said it when i was on stage) but they said you argue for people with Down’s syndrome by saying, “we're more alike than different.  Look at our community, we're like you.  We get married like you, we have jobs like you, we have hobbies like you, we like cooking like you, we love our families like you, and we go to school like you; and are lives worth living because of that and they were saying, “Well listen! our children are not like you in that way.  They don't have independence like you.  They don't go to school like you, they don't have jobs like you but yet they are deeply and profoundly loved and they make profound contributions to our family and sometimes it's by the fact that they can't do the thing.  I realized that actually when Ollie goes through life, he feels like he's a great revealer of character.  He brings good and bad behavior out of people. 

 

I don't mean good behavior, I mean kindness, generosity and love, generosity of spirit, self-sacrifice, nobility, beauty).  He brings this out of other people and sometimes people who don't have other places to express that beautiful part of themselves.  So, sometimes it's through what he can't do that he builds community around himself and creates beauty.  I just struggle with trying to explain that to people who aren't in our world.  It sounds like because they just seem to believe that we all have Stockholm syndrome, that our children have us imprisoned and we’ve fallen in love.  Maybe they're right.  Maybe that is what's happened, but the reality is that that is how it appears to me.

 

Ben:  That makes me think of two things; one is a recent film of the book, The Reason I Jump.  Because I think there may be a slight glimpse to some others about this because this is part of the community which is still quite different to those who are not because they are not like you.  The other thing I thought I raised in my head was also maybe faith because I know you have faith.  I unfortunately don't have faith and I really like it but a lot of faith-based people or communities I meet, instinctively seem to understand this easier and reveal those good qualities of being human.  I think there is something.  The two points you said – know this other that it's not all about the brain, that could be whatever you want to call it, spiritual, being human or something that quality of other and that acceptance that you're going to have stuff which is really bad but that's also part of being human and actually to not have that somehow makes you less human and that type of thing as well.  But, I do think, there is this thing, it's okay not being like others as well but you have this thing; we are shared in love and we are shared in grief.  We're shared in all of these other things which actually makes us all already human.

 

Sally:  I think there's something that is common to all humans that religions sometimes get right and sometimes get wrong, but I feel like there's a truth that everyone sort of recognizes deep down whether or not you believe.  There's a lot of doubt in faith and there's a lot of faith in doubt, (I think).  I dig where there's an X and it seems to come up with the goods sometimes, but the church is just endlessly disappointing.

 

Ben:  Yes, I was watching a documentary a few weeks ago, there's a convent of nuns actually really near where I live in North Kensington up the top of Ladbroke Grove.

 

Sally:  Yes, The Carmelite Nuns!  I really want to go there. 

 

Ben:  You don’t go away, they said the person who managed to film a documentary, I think wrote them letters every month for five years in order to go because they don't want their practice disturbed.  They don't speak very much of the day and part of their practice is they are, they're preying on humanity's behalf.  So, you can ring them up and they will do prayers for you.  

 

Sally:  This is what I've started doing, this is my practice now.  So, I pray for other people.

 

Ben:  So, will you be silent for most of the day?

 

Sally:  No, obviously not silence, but I’m trying to do contemplative centering prayer without words.  I find this completely fascinating, and so many people in so many faiths are doing exactly that even if you're doing an insight timer.

 

Ben:  Exactly, and sometimes people do it by chance which is weirdly the same thing because you're just repeating the same phrase, not many words.

 

Sally:  And that stimulates your vagus nerve which makes you feel better.  So, I've got a really good friend.  I was at New College Oxford and I had a friend there Lucy, who's a zoologist who studied under Dawkins.  We've never talked about faith because it's just embarrassing.

 

Ben:  I feel people should talk about it more.  I think maybe this is one thing which could start happen a little bit more because people seem almost embarrassed to talk about it but there are obviously so many different kinds and a lot of people are involved in it so it seems to me odd that when we don't, in other sense in good faith talking about it; obviously you have extremes which won't work but most people I don't think are there.

 

Sally:  Yes, I think we have to get over our uncertainty aversion and there aren't words.  I think that's the thing we feel uncomfortable in areas where there aren't words. 

Ben:  So you are saying your friend under Dawkins probably has a very different...

 

Sally:  She has become much less certain, so we've both become much less certain.  I think that's really good, so we're now in this no-man's land and beginning to talk about this stuff.  So, she got cancer and being a scientist, went about what their conditions are, who gets better, who's most likely to get better and one of the five characteristics was people with a faith.  She was like, “I better get myself a faith.

 

Ben:  That's how I feel a bit.

 

Sally:  So, she started investigating why it might, what kinds might, what the practices were and she's got into chanting.  She does meditation every day, open sea swimming.  There was a thing on Instagram, this guy “The Portable Priest” who has been going out with an accordion during lockdown doing the divine office through Portobello and he put a thing on Instagram.  The thing is to prove that God doesn't exist.  Atheists have to go to every corner of the universe and prove He's not there, whereas we just need to prove the resurrection is true and then we've won.  It was something like that and it made me furious.  I stood on it.  I want to just leave it, leave goodness sake, it doesn't matter and then three days later, I put a thing.  I wrote underneath going (Ironically though) approaching every corner of the universe with a curious and open mind is an activity that's much more likely to an earth God than sitting on your sofa with your arms folded going, “look I’ve won and I’m better than you.  Because that's the sort of open hearted search.  It's the position of welcome that is really where you reference a good about religion in its practices of religion.  They sort of break down this dualistic right-wrong, black-white, this categorization is an identity politics.  It takes down the walls and in trying to build those communities, that takes down the walls between people.  Forgiveness would be a really obvious example of how you are taking down a wall.  I think that's good but there's plenty of ways of doing that without religion and one of the ways is unfortunately suffering or becoming dependent.  I think that is what suddenly being presented with a child with a disability does.

 

Ben:  And I guess to reverse, I was thinking comedy is strangely one of the ways which can sometimes do it, sometimes don’t as well.  I just was going to, while I remember the reflection on the Nun in this documentary, they spoke to the Abbess who leads the convent.  I don't know quite hierarchical, but anyway the conclusion was, she essentially had lost her faith or had lost (I’m not sure I should be doing this anymore) but she is still dead for an extraordinary long amount of time, something like several years, and she continued to go through this while she was essentially having this.  I'm not sure about it anymore but actually continuing with this kind of practice of faith as she had sort of lost faith. She went to Cambridge and she graduated from Cambridge (I think in philosophy or something like this) and then heard about these nuns and basically camped on their door.  Father didn't let her go there before she'd gone to university, decided this was going to be it and then dedicated her life to this practice.  But, anyway, I just thought it's incredible what faith, what you can do from it.  The flip side to what you said is this, how to say it without it sounding wrong, the suffering part and I think this is what you alluded to as well.  The suffering part is really revealing in a way which you kind of go, well you're not glorifying suffering and you're not saying anything, oh this is a good thing.  But if it has come into your life and you can embrace it, and really hate this idea of leaning in, but it's the idea that if it doesn't break you somehow and you take it in as a realization, it does open up so many things which would have been close to you and that's certainly been in my case.  This whole route of area of life and humanity which I wouldn't have contemplated, had In't had to go down a route of dealing with disability in the community and things not being how they would come out.  I don't know what you're thinking about that kind of suffering angle.

 

Sally:  I don't know, I have read a thing saying there's two routes to god, two fast tracks.  One is suffering and one is love and I think we get both.  So, we get extra love.  There is something about reaching the end of your own ability, isn't that?  That wall, where you hit the wall and you go, “I actually can't do it and when you reach that point, that's when you have to rely on friends and family and I think for people like you and I who are super privileged.

 

Ben:  Very well resourced.


Sally:  Yes, very well resourced and very well educated.  We have lots and lots of opportunities.

It is a real privilege to have our lives amplified by being able to see things from the other side of the river.  I feel that I have connections with so many more people than I would have had.  I give and receive empathy with many more people and I’m also much more courageous (I think).  Because I have more limits.  It's a bit like things travel faster down a narrower tube, so your life gets narrower but things happen with more force or something. 

 

Ben:  Because of the limits, but it is noted no one don't want to give anyone’s impression, we're like trivializing the challenges or the challenges it gives sort of everyone and everything within that.

 

Sally:  I think the day after a hangover, you feel really clean.  Maybe you don't know.  I don't really drink.  You know the thing, if you have ever heard of a hangover, once it's passed, you feel sort of fresh.  You feel born.

 

Ben:  Weirdly detoxed!

 

Sally:  Weirdly detox and it's a bit the same with these terrible struggles. I remember Ollie trying to get his shoes on to go to school and he didn't want to go to school and just being kicked again and again and again in the face.

 

Ben:  We've had that with sleep.  I don't know what your relationship to sleep was but there was a period of that we were having a particularly troublesome period as well, but where you go through this end and when you get like, “Well, I haven't slept for 24 hours.  It’s kind of somehow going through the other side because otherwise maybe this is why a lot of families also splinter as well because if you can't somehow get to that other side, they just haven't gone to sleep for whatever reasons and you've somehow got to get to the other side.

 

Sally:  Yeah.  Sleep, that's just t torture.  There's no upside from that.  I'll tell you what's weird, like having come out the other end of the sleep.  I now find that being over tired is like a comfort blanket.  You know that state where you do feel drunk and it just feels cozy now, feels like I’ve got a little sort of shed in my head and that's because there were five six years where the kids were really cute but I wasn't getting any sleep.  So, I wasn't really leaving the house.  Now it feels like going back to a family holiday or something.  Do you feel weirdly creative then as well or you may not be but you kind of feel like “Oh i kind of could do anything in this state but you probably can't but...

 

Sally:  Yes, probably, something like that.  The main thing to me is that it feels like being under one of those weighted blankets.  My hands are full of weighted blankets, aren't you?

 

Ben:  No, we didn't really.  We've got three yoga balls instead.  The weighted blanket didn't really work for us.  We haven't really done a holiday significantly over the last 12 years but we tried a little bit and we've had to bring the yoga ball with us.  We forgot a few weeks ago and we ended up having to rely on Amazon to deliver one because it wasn't going well without one.  We managed to bring some other things such as a sleeping bag, this sleeping bag which he slept in forever, a particular kind of juice bottle and a lot of other particular kinds of things but we somehow managed.  We remembered to bring the pump because you can't blow them up otherwise but we'd actually manage to forget the ball but yes…

 

Sally:  I feel for you…I feel for you.  Yes, we have those things.  Ollie is doing this thing at the moment where he just decides to leave.


Ben:  Out of the house or just out of the room?


Sally:  Out of the house.


Ben:  Yeah, we haven't had that yet, although we could.


Sally:  He is off the age where we had a thing where they let him go from a sports camp because he's 16 and he might have done travel training and he might be getting home alone and then of course he went looking after….

 

Ben:  And why wouldn't we believe him because he told us?

 

Sally:  Yes, and he went looking for his girlfriend's house in Twickenham and he didn't know where she lived, didn't have an address or anything.  So, we're having a few conversations with the police, like how you are going to make sure it doesn't happen again.  I just said this time, I think it is going to happen again.  I think I can almost guarantee it's going to happen again and there's nothing we can really do about it but we can minimize the danger when it happens.

 

[_44:04_]

Ben:  Another family, I don't know how I feel about this because he hasn't done this without but they're using these Apple AirTags but just with a key or a thing that they take with them and then you can track them through the AirTag.

 

Sally:  Yes, we had those and he took them off the shoes.  And he rips all his clothes up, that's the thing I can't really cope with.  I can cope with it.  I am coping with it but I just have this.  When part of you has given up and died.  The part of me that's given up and died is like that, I’m never going to have a pension, I’m going to be working forever because Ollie rips up pants and he's in men's pants and he rip.  He'll wear them once and then rip them up.  I don't know where to get really cheap pants.  Marks & Spencers 21 crates for 3.

 

Ben:  Yes, you need a supply line to the Bangladesh factory or something.

 

Sally:  That's still 7 pounds per pair that's, 7 pounds of pants a day and then there's usually a T-shirt and jumper and pair of trousers every week as well, coats.

Ben:  Wow, every week, that's tough though.

 

Sally:  Every week, it really adds up.  I can't buy him clothes because that thing if you're not going to have any clothes, you're going to have clothes because I’m going to have to clothe you.

 

Ben:  Well, there is this bit, isn't there? I've always described it and I guess this is a little bit like the social model.  You want to try make the world come as close to you as possible but there are certain things like running around naked all the time, it just isn't quite possible if you want to go out and we have this opposite problem where my one, if at all possible, would like to never wear trousers and he's now 12.  When you're 4, 5, 6, 7, it is kind of cute when you get away from this that, as you continue to get older…

 

Sally:  Is he wearing shorts?

 

Ben:  No, nothing.  He would just put half naked, is his preference and this doesn’t bother him.  He's just like, why it's kind of hot and uncomfortable, why would I bother, so we have to work very hard to keep them on and then we have the wash issues as opposed to actually tearing them up.  We haven’t thought about it though there are a lot of broken things and there's still some broken things going on particularly, broken technology is not going to be good for the budget.

 

Sally:  No, heartbreaking.  It is really hard to know what to do, isn't it?  These spiritual practices like even the non-religious ones are about surrendering, aren't they?  That's what mindfulness is supposed to be, is it mindfulness?  Yes mindfulness, I’m sitting here and my thought will come along and I just let it go.  I welcome it and let it go and I feel like we're doing that all the time.  I have to laugh with a friend of mine, who has a very severely disabled child.  She says, we're never going to buy those mindful coloring books, are we?  Because we're being forced to do mindfulness things all the time.  Like we can't go fast, we literally can't go fast.  Leaving the house, there's a massive checklist of things.

 

Ben:  People don't understand, it can take an hour just to get out and you kind of feel let's just give up.  We're only going to do that.  I guess this is sort of mindfulness but what he's taught me is quite often to live in the moment though as well because they do and it irritates me because I think A-Plus parenting for an hour and then a moth will come along.  He hates moths and it was like, “Oh that was worth nothing because in a moment, the moth is the worst thing in the world, so of course you're going to scream out. 

 

Sally:  Yes, because if you don't live in the moment and if you don't sort of take it in, the story you tell yourself about what's happening can be much too bleak because of these big awful events.  So, Ollie can be good 99% of a day and then that 1% just will be so bad that you remember the day as being the day when the MacBook was put in the bath.  Whereas actually he was really good up to that point.  I remember, he went to a special needs school which is a disaster because he got expelled from the mainstream, that's another conversation for another day.  He just hated it, really hated it and smashed up the classroom and having gone in much more able, too able for the school, came out with the most support of anyone that most difficult child. 

You've got to do what your teachers say Ollie, got to do what they say and he said, I do sometimes.  I said, that’s true you do sometimes what they say, but you do sometimes expose yourself to the Muslim girls in your class and that's really problematic.

 

Ben:  So many things with nowhere we felt secondary, so he does most of his time.  Technically, I have to say educated otherwise not at something or whatever EOTS but is essentially a kind of home education for four-fifths of this week partly because of not being able to find anywhere which we thought would fit in with that.

 

Sally:  It's difficult but also as I just said that I felt really guilty as though I shouldn't have said that because that's not for him to say and I think we are in this difficult situation with advocacy where a lot of people with disabilities or disabled people.  They prefer different groups to be called different things and regard their parents as the enemy.  They really suffered under either our neglect or our love or our complaining because of how hard and difficult to hear.  I mean, someone I met quite earlier, an absolutely amazing wonderful person.  Her daughter is 20 years older than Ollie.

When Lizzie was born, written a book about her feelings, about the diagnosis and the early years to help other parents.  Never in a million years imagining that Lizzie would grow up to be able to read it.  She did and I think that was tough. 

 

Ben:  It was definitely seen in the autistic community as well with a lot #actuallyautistic and obviously in that community, they can kind of advocate a lot for themselves and there is a kind of a big gap of understanding between what they have said and maybe their parents in the community, so that's definitely a thing.  But then there's those who can't advocate so well for themselves and I do think many parents just do the best that they can and when this is always pretty tough.  

 

I was hearing the other day that you managed to get all of your children washing up at the same time, was this just one hour, one week or did you manage because I thought, Oh my God, that is a star parenting.

 

Sally:  Yes, that something that was brought to our family by another special needs parent called Colette Lloyd, who is a majestic human being.  She has got four kids and she and her husband David instituted Washing Up Club and we went on holiday with them.  We had a rotor and we had a Washing Up Club.  They have gone in and out.  Actually, I am sensing that they don’t but actually they do.  They stack the dishwasher.  They do clean the table and stack the dishwasher now, but when they were little, it was that sort of cute thing of standing on a chair and the sink full of bubbles, putting an apron on them and making a massive mess and then running another sink and putting one of them in as a bath.  Yes, I have had them doing washing up and it is quite a good way to manage boys like to talk when they're not looking at you.  So, they prefer to be in the car or facing away or walking away.

 

Ben:  Also, maybe doing something else, sort of intuitive.

 

Sally:  It's much less confronting, isn't it to be.

 

Ben:  I'm lucky if they'll be off their screens for more than like an hour at that time but maybe that's it because they can sometimes talk to you while on screen so maybe they just do need something else, I don't think Washing Up Club would go very far in my family.  I feel like trying it.

 

Sally:  They didn’t enjoy it.  I realized that you have to find ways of getting by, don't you?  You have to find ways of coping and ways of doing all the unpleasant things and if you do all the unpleasant things, you get a bit broken.  So, I sneak stuff into the daily routine.  After a while they become blind to it because that's part of the daily routine that's what happens.  Do you know what I mean?

 

Ben: Yes, it seems pretty smart, a star parenting tip…

 

Sally:  I feel like I’m interacting with parenting like a plow interacts with fields.  My realization this week has been that the siblings think that Ollie's two siblings are just really angry with him. They're just really angry with the way he controls things.

 Ben:  Just takes all the time.

 

Sally:  Immovable objects; and he's so stubborn.  It just takes such effort and they're so crossed.  When they scream, “I hate him”, I go, “No you don't, no you don't" and realizing that I need to say that's understandable.

 

Ben:  I think we have said that you can hate someone but love someone as well.

 

Sally:  I met a sibling.  Well, actually one of Tom's friend's parents has an autistic brother and there were lots and lots of challenging behavior when she was growing up.  She said to me, I feel like my parents trained me to be neat because I wasn't allowed to be difficult.  My needs had to come second because obviously if Ollie runs away, we have to go find him.  I can't carry on building Darth Vader, Lego Castle.  I have to go find Ollie and that would take me three hours.  Then we talk to the police and then we have to do a police report and we have to do a social worker report.  Social workers have to come see you.  So yes, I just realized that I’ve not been allowing them to express negative emotions.  I think you need to stay on top of things, you need to be looking on the right side.  You need to stay positive because otherwise you go under.

 

Ben:  But you've realized it now, so there is also…


Sally:  Yes, I’m so pathetic when I have a new realization.  I said it straight away.  You may be feeling very negatively and that's absolutely fine. You're allowed to have those feelings and you must just do what you need to do. I'm so see-through.



Ben:  We have that with the other one like that you can't.  You still have a film which has got some sort of feel-good message which they see through in five seconds.  It's like, “well we're not needing to or bothering to watch that movie or that message.  That reminds me of two other things I was going to touch on.  One was parable (which I’m lucky I think i came too late) because I really don't like it about the story about Holland and Holland and Italy, which comes through in our community because there seems to be so much wrong with it but I’d be better if there's a better parable but it's actually how a lot of people outside of the community come and see this idea.  

I can't quite remember but isn't it it's like, you want to go to Italy and you end up in Holland.  Therefore, showing you don't know anything about Italy or Holland but actually Holland turns out to be okay which just seems that this is kind of wrong on all fronts but...

 

[_58:45_]

Sally:  The reason I hate it, I just associate it with diagnosis.  We got given it four or five times when Ollie was diagnosed, and your whole life, you wanted to go to Italy.  You've planned what you'll eat, what you'll wear.  You're looking forward to seeing the Colosseum and the Statue of David, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, eating pizza on a Neapolitan street.  Maybe even taking a boat trip to Capri and then you're sitting on the runway and the pilots say, we've been diverted to Holland.  You're going, “In Holland? Do you say Holland?  I don't want to go to Holland.  But unfortunately, you have to go to Holland for life.  You will never be allowed to visit Italy.  Oh no, this dream of yours is dead.  You are imprisoned in Holland for the rest of your natural life.  Since you're forced to be in Holland, you realize there are actually some things recommended and just they don't then go on to say the legal marijuana and the sex part, tulips and…

 

Ben:  They can make pizza there too, but…

Sally:  Yes, they can make pizza there too, exactly.  It's quite flat and you might enjoy cycling.  So, the point of it is that things aren't what you’ve expected but they're still nice, they're a bit different but they're still nice.  You're still on holiday…for life.  Yes, I do hate that but I think it's mainly because I hate anything trite and once that is fit for all, it may get better at the point of diagnosis.

 

[_60:41_]

Ben:  There must be that they want to change the whole population but it must be an American writer.  I guess the other point on this is – well I wonder I've heard you comment on him as well so this is this consequentialist, utilitarian philosopher, Peter Singer.  I kind of wonder what he'd make of this.  He doesn't go down very well in the disability community but is completely loved in the animal rights community and I think what we've discussed seems to me to be the real case, and I think he's accepted that because they've got this idea of utilitarian suffering and therefore eradicating that.  It is kind of good as sort of his position but doesn't actually realize the worth of people or the worth of this experience which could be anything that they create, so you end up with this very reductionist kind of viewpoint.  I haven't quite managed to square it with how well he views animals but obviously I guess it's some sort of utilitarian suffering thing, but it does seem to be….?

 

Sally:  I think he's focused on eroding the boundaries between humans and animals.  He's a vegan and they all seem to be vegans which is interesting.  So, I got invited to a philosopher's dinner at Corpus Christi, with not Peter Singer, but Julian Savulescu and the other one at Oxford.  Anyway, big transhumanists both and they seemed to be just more focused on eroding, defining the difference between a very intelligent animal and a human being.  He doesn't seem to have any self-knowledge or desire to survive.  I suppose they're chipping away at this sense that humans might have a soul when animals might not.  That is not all quite interesting but unfortunately to elevate the gorilla or elevate the cow, they're stamping on people with profound multiple learning disabilities.  So, they've got this profound multiple disability. They sense this thing about personhood, so who qualifies as being a person and who qualifies who gets to live, what are the objectives of life.  So, for somebody with a faith, it's quite interesting for me to look at my own definition.  

 

So, I had a long conversation with John Harris at Manchester University, Professor of Ethics.  He was basically saying, (it seemed to me I may have misunderstood him) but he seemed to be saying that “An optimum life would be one that was long and had many different options.  So, then that was interesting because that to me wasn't the definition at all of a good life.  I mean if I think of people have been important for humanity, people with disabilities who've had short and painful lives and really contributed enormously to humanity, so then there's a difference between the life that I might want for myself and the life that's good for other people which is where we come back to this negative capability forging bonds.  Like where there's a lack, something rushes in and it forms links between people.  I don't know what I’m talking about, Benjamin, but this is what I think about when I’m in the shower.

So, where you're vulnerable, like as an actor if you're vulnerable if people rush towards you and where you have need, people often feel for you, sometimes help you and you create links between people.  So, if we move away from individualism and start thinking about people as coherent groups as cohering, then (I don't know) it's different, isn't it?

 

Ben:  Yes, and I think also I’m a little bit worried about that view and sense that if you just go a little bit back in history, not even that far – if you kind of say either this difference, you would have said, “well women are lesser people, minorities are lesser people, slaves are lesser people and you take this consequentialist view, you don't end up with very much.  But yes, there is this thing about…

 

Sally:  It's really-really interesting, so when I started making my Down’s syndrome documentary, I’m a child of the 70s because I think I’m much older than you and I just assumed that everyone thought that everyone was equal.  I thought surely that's our baseline starting position.  I was astonished to discover it just really wasn't.  They had absolutely no qualms about saying that people just were not equal.  That was pretty fiction.

 

It's kind of amazing.  The Babylonian King, whenever 2000 years ago, put that on his stone law “A person's female slave is worth less than a male slave is worth less than a middle-class person or whatever all the way up to the elite” and classified them in terms of money and compensation.  That's the whole point of the last sort of fifty hundred years as we've changed our view on that and that we view humans as equal but actually like you said in practice, we may not be as close to that as some of us might think.

 

Sally:  No, I think we're getting further away from it.  I think it's partly to do with the fact that (I don't have the better terms) but the fact that we are increasingly becoming units of data.  So, we're measuring everything.  That's the way our politics operates and so human beings are a dataset, so the decisions are made.  For the first time, it seems in British history, it is beneficial for us all to aim towards the middle because if you're an outlier in any area – I'm worried about the advent of personalized medicine so all these COVID tests.  I'm an imaginative person, so maybe they've made it impossible for this to happen but I bet they haven't.  They've been collecting our DNA in vast quantities, so the hundred thousand genome project very quickly went up to the million genome projects coming up Great Ormond Street.  So, they could be collecting all our DNA. 

 

GCHQ is in charge of protecting that data because that's how important it is.  If the government can sequence the British genome, they can know which diseases we're most likely to develop and they can invest, the utilitarian, they can do the most good for the most people but that would mean that if you got a rare cancer, you are going to be underserved.  Anything unusual, you're going to be underserved.  So, it's only the people and you can already see this is happening a bit with education that it's aiming at the middle.   If you've got special needs or if you're gifted, it doesn't work for you.  The education system just simply doesn't work for you.

Ben:  I'm going to think about that one, that is kind of quite terrifying.

 

Sally:  Listen, I don't know what I’m talking about. If we talk to very clever listeners and come back with an answer, I’m just a sitcom actress but this is how it seems to me.  This is my understanding.

 

Ben:  I have two thoughts. One is that I’d hope they would look at the valuable part of where this might be and actually if I look, I think actually we have got a lot of areas for rare diseases and things come through.  If anything, the problem is we don't do very well for poor country diseases because there's no money in it; that's kind of one observation.  Although there probably is something in that data because it can be used for good or for ill.

 

Sally:  But they haven't sequenced the genome yet, have they?  They haven't done it yet.  They have done it in Iceland, so here they haven't done it yet.

 

Ben:  We've got the human genome overall but we don't have it to match population data like they do in Iceland, that’s true.

Sally:  Yes, so what I can do is I can get my genome sequence and I can then get a readout for a thousand dollars, I can.

 

Ben:  And they can say you've got a 32% chance of being outside or something like that.

 

Sally:  And they can tell me what to eat, and they can say yes this is the kind of exercise you should be doing, this is the kind of food you should be eating.  It's a massive market.  The hundreds of billions.  I can't remember what it is.  This is a huge market.

 

Ben:  The other thing it brought to mind was this idea that not everything that counts, can be counted so that there's a load of valuable things which you just can't measure and count, love, poetry, all of this stuff.

 

Sally:  Would you say all the most important things, not be counted.

 

Ben:  So, I think I guess all we are measuring...

 

Sally:  Well, I wonder what's happening. I can see that because it can’t be measured, because the contribution can't be measured in pounds, you could argue that it could be and I think what we need to do is find some kind of equation or algorithm that will demonstrate that it contributes in pounds.  The people are cutting arts courses and cutting arts education. 

There's lots of examples but I feel like we really don't value what the arts contribute because it's very hard to measure what the arts contribute and what they contribute is things like empathy.

 

Ben:  Yes, these things are really hard to measure, but very important.  Great! Well, maybe wrapping up with a last couple of questions.  We had one who came through on Twitter which was, “I think we need to do with whether comedy and activism can go together and I guess maybe it's hinting on fact that some comedies are quite political or can be but a lot of comedy just doesn't need to be.  In fact some comedians who will say, “it's only comedy if you're not making a political point” and some people who only want to make their comedy to be saying some messaging and something else and obviously you got an advocacy, activism, lying to your work but actually a lot of your comedy is just for laughs, is that something which you feel have to balance or is it naturally comes out depending on the work you're doing?

 

Sally:  Well, I think quite a lot, Matt Fraser.  He's a great actor with a visible disability.  He says that the more activism you do, the less acting you get to do.  So, you have to be very careful.  I feel that I need to be careful to be mainly a comedian actor because I lose my value as an activist, if I’m not that.  So, there's an element.  If you are only making points, it's like save your art, if you're only making sort of politically correct disability community friendly jokes, they stop being stopped and they stop being truthful because you sort of have to be talking out of uncertainty for them to be any good, for you to be discovering something new. 

 

So, I think comedy is always after different kinds of truths.  Is that right?  No comedy's not always about anything, you can't say.  Sometimes comedy is just literally like relief.  There are some comedians who focus on speaking while holding a mirror up to society and there's others who just want to give you a break.  Both are fine and then there's people who do both like Milton Jones for example.  He does a lot of jokes that just make you laugh because they are stupid and then he does do the old political thing or he'll say something.  He does say things with an edge like this is a very-very old joke of his.  He did one about those cultures where they believe that taking photographs of you steals your soul, that's mad, isn't it?  Because that would mean that people who have photographed a lot like supermodels would have really dull and vacant personalities. 

 

So, just turn things around. So, comedy is really good for looking at things from a different angle and it can be for a purpose, so pure comedy can be for a purpose or not, both are fine.  I have found it very useful to be able to make jokes in very dry presentations, so it was very useful.  So, I gave a speech to the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.  There's 4000 of them who are delivering prenatal care and delivering the tests.  It was really useful to be able to make a lot of jokes because if you just stand up there and just harangue, doing a very bad joke in our community, you will be able to make a shit sandwich.   

 

[_77:08_]

Ben:  Haranguing them straight up was not going to have as much impact.

 

Sally:  Rather than saying you were doing a great job which they hadn't really been doing, just do a joke.  It is really-really useful as everyone knows comedy is a very useful rhetorical tool and is very useful for reducing fear.  Sweetening pills and so it's a very useful tool for advocacy but I don't particularly want to do a sitcom making those points.  I want to keep the comedy pure.

Ben:  It makes a lot of sense.  Last question would be, do you have any advice to maybe young people or young creatives or perhaps advice to expectant mothers or some thoughts along those lines.

 

Sally:  Maybe it's the same thing.  Very different things, maybe that is exactly the same thing, maybe that would be more healthy for both to think about it that way. The thing I say to creatives is art makes art so just do it and if you don't do it, you become a critic and you start comparing yourself to other people.  There's something about making the stuff that keeps you humble and keeps you creative.  So even if you're making terrible stuff, you're learning and you're expressing yourself and you're finding out who you are and with writings, nothing's ever wasted.  

So, art makes art and I find I can write quite quickly now partly because I'm quite old but also because I’ve written so many unsuccessful things that I have cupboards and cupboards full of characters and jokes that might fit this situation like, “Oh, I might have a thing in back here.  Oh, yes this person works quite well. 

 

So, it's like sketchbooks of people and conversations and things like that.  So, yeah just make stuff.  You want to make films, make them on your phone.  If you want to make music, just practice and there's something called the Artist's Way that I think is really good.  It's a book, it's a course.  You can do it on your own and there's two central practices, I do about half the time, writing pages in the morning and things like that. 

 

Then expectant mothers, people expecting babies, you are hoping to go to Italy.  No, don't be afraid.  It's going to be fine and you're going to have the most amazing adventure.  The people run marathons, people do IronMan and people do Tough Mudder because there's something about a kick in doing the hard stuff.  So, it’s going to be loads of funny stuff but there is also a kick in doing the reps and becoming a special needs parent.

 

So, to an expectant mother, apart from saying you're going to Holland, it's going to be amazing.  You're going to get completely off your head and go on a canal boat by tulips.  I would say don't be afraid.  Someone said to me actually that the Special Needs Club is one that nobody wants to join but that once you do, you realize that all the best people in the world are in it with you.  It's definitely been true for me that I have met the most incredible people; the most inspiring and hilarious women who don't sweat the small stuff.  I haven't met so many dads actually but I think that's good. 

I did notice when I did the documentary that the mums were out batting for the cause on Facebook and the dads were brilliant on Twitter.  I think the dads just hang out in different places and do slightly different things.  And it's not just the parents, I have got some proper friends with Down’s syndrome and with autism now.  The other thing I’ve realized is that just now there's a whole rash of people on the comedy circuit who are getting diagnosed with ADHD.  So, there's a lot more people.

 

Ben:  Yes, and actually some with autism as well.  Hannah Gadsby. A very great advocate and really insightful.

 

Sally:  I think lots of the people we thought that disability was very different and actually it turns out we've been walking among you the whole time.  Your granny, your auntie, that uncle that had five pairs of glasses and kept losing them, that very funny cousin; we've probably all got diagnoses.  That's why utilitarianism really falls down because there is no meaning, there is no person who is exactly average.  We're all somewhere on some spectrum, aren't we? 

 

This is Ollie.

 

Ben:  Hello, really good to meet you. 

So, we're going to be finishing up. Would you like to say anything?

Sally:  We've been talking about Down’s syndrome and having a disability.  How is that for you?

Ollie:  It's been good.

Sally:  What's the best bit about having Down’s syndrome?

Ollie:  You have loads of friends.

Sally:  And what's the worst bit?

Ollie:  I don’t know.

Sally:  Did you have a good time?

Ollie:  Yes.

Really thank you Sally, thank you Ollie. That has been a really amazing chat.  Thank you so much.

In Podcast, Life, Writing Tags Sally Phillips, Podcast, Disability, Comedy, Writing

Do we need more David Chappelle?

April 3, 2020 Ben Yeoh
Source: Netflix

Source: Netflix

“Jokes aren’t only about laughing” Tyler Cowen on podcast (paraphrased by me).

“I make fun of poor people because I see myself in them”  David Chappelle 

“When you make jokes about Trans people, doesn’t that normalise us?” Daphne (trans) as told to Chappelle

David Chappelle was offending everyone.  

I was camped out in a boring Boston hotel after my own show was cancelled (due to the start of COVID distancing) and after four days of non-stop activity at a healthcare conference I thought I’d do an activity which I can’t get to at home. 

No.  Not watching the adult channel. Close. 

Putting on offensive comedy on Netflix. 

Comedians -  and the stage - occupy a special place in our free speech system. I’ve arrived at the view that it must be cherished even when offensive or particularly when offensive. 

Comedians are special because their role is to tell jokes... and in doing so they reveal us.  If you go to a comedian on stage or Netflix, you are going to their church, their home.  

That home is a sacred space to tell jokes and offend everyone and in doing so reveal all aspects of our humanity, dark and light. 

That’s not to say that those jokes and views are above criticism or even condemning what might be said. To defend a comedian’s right to tell jokes is not the same as being indifferent to those jokes.

That said, Chappelle made some subtle and not so subtle arguments for himself in “Sticks and Stones” which I found fascinating.

It starts with the title - yes words can be offensive - but do they ever hurt like sticks and stones? We can argue for mental stress but Chappelle made an interesting joke (and a running theme) about how few people would actually go about shooting up a school - causing violence in real life is a league different from telling jokes.

He acknowledges the peoples he pokes. He pokes at the poor. He pokes at celebrity. He pokes at Chinese. But then, he offers a small private disclosure. His wife is Asian. She hates his Chinese impression joke. He doesn’t tell it at home. Unless they are really fighting. Another joke. Passion. Love. Humour.  

He goes on to let slip

“I make fun of poor people because I see myself in them”

Chappelle was poor (or so he implies). Now he is rich and happy for it. But he does know what it is like to be poor. And in this, he is also poking fun at himself, in part.

This idea is a notion in common with David Sedaris. Perhaps a comedy writer pretty far away from David Chappelle. First name notwithstanding.

Sedaris makes fun mostly of himself, and then oft times of his family and those he meets. But mostly himself. He has written (and now spoken on “Masterclass”) about this. This self humour can dig at a deeper truth, can be funnier for its self-recognition in us all and to an extent diffuses the challenge on picking on another class of person - which might seem unfair or bullying. That Sederis does this mostly in essay form rather than stand-up (though him performing his essays comes close to stand up).

Sasha Baron-Cohen (Ali G) has achieved this very effectively in parodies. Even more so, to my mind, in a sketch where part of the joke is him speaking in hebrew. His Jewishness is both a defense and a heightened offence / joke - if you can know enough to understand the language or his own history.

Back to Chappelle. There’s an argument about words with a producer. The words or terms he can or can not use on air. Chappelle fires back but I can say “nigga” all I like!  This evokes the defense of talking about yourself as more acceptable. To that possible answer, Chappelle also extends and rebuts: “But I am no nigga.”

There’s a joke about letters. LBGT letters. (He seems to have missed the Q). (It’s perhaps not super funny, nor as offensive as it could be.) There’s a joke about rape. A woman has to leave. She was raped and she can’t stay. He answers:

I am sorry you were raped.  But it’s also not my fault.

This is also in his space. His comedy den. And the vibe is in danger of snuffing out. He goes on and in the middle of the audience a trans person, Daphne, keeps laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And Chappelle is nervous coming into his LGBT jokes. And Daphne keeps on laughing.

Later they drink and Daphne tells him:

“When you make jokes about Trans people, doesn’t that normalise us?”

And the way Chappelle tells the story, it comes as a revelation - I think that’s Chappelle’s technique and charisma but he uses it to good point. LGBQT+ have in some sense become mainstream, because a mainstream-ish comic can poke fun. (see end for the counter to this)

Chappelle towards the end recounts a humble-brag story. He is hanging with the great and the good. Chris Rock - from comedy legend - brings round a crowd including the Mayor and Senator Kamala Harris. This is as Obama is in the early stages running for office.  Kamala tells Chapelle to speak to Obama and dials him up. The call arrives at voicemail, but Chappelle sends his advice - the same for being a black kid at a school shoot out or almost any time - crouch low and run in a zig zag pattern.

Fast forward. Chappelle is waiting, post a media event, with Obama and other runners. Obama is last and makes his way to Chappelle. Hitting him up in a hug, the way Chappelle has been acting it out all along, and whispering in his ear: “I got your message...?”

In the world of the humble brag, Chappelle has elevated himself to the highest echelons of our elite power circles. 

With graft and stories and words and reflections and

I think - maybe - he deserves to be there - in our folklore - our kings and queens have had their jesters - and they can be awful people -

For jokes aren’t only about laughing

They reveal who we are to each other.

Even in a time of COVID, that’s worth remembering.


On the other side here’s a Guardian piece critical of Chappelle  

And here’s Buzzzfeed’s Obaro:

“...And in a surprise epilogue to Sticks & Stones, he tells another story about Daphne, a trans woman who attended several of his sets in San Francisco and laughed hard at every joke. Afterward, according to Chappelle, they chatted at the bar and Daphne thanked him for “normalizing transgenders.” The audience at the Broadway theater, where Chappelle told this story, applauds loudly. It’s cringe-inducing — such a blatantly cynical, familiar move out of the old “I have a marginalized friend, so I can make this joke” playbook. (When Louis C.K. joked about his black friends who have stood by him, I imagine he must have been talking about Chappelle.)...” Article here.

And finally, here’s an NPR conversation on it - highlight perhaps that Chappelle is provoking us into having a conversation.

I suppose in my own thoughts, I was less concerned about whether he was funny or not - his special has 99% on rotten tomatoes for audiences (40K+ reviews vs 39% on critics [17] ) - but on whether his free speech and right to offend was worth protecting.

I think it’s worth protecting - and the 99% audience approval can perhaps speak to whether we need an awful jester of our times.


I make a relate point in my blog on whether we need more Joe Rogan?


…I listened to Billy Connelly on podcast. Amongst other insights (listened to comedians if you want to have a pulse on politics), Connelly suggested that the time of old comics and offending was past and certainly eg racism wasn’t necessary any more in comedy. I hadn’t considered how comedy has also evolved over time….

In Arts, Writing, Life Tags Comedy, David Chappelle

Brona Titley, Aisling Bea on Friendship

July 26, 2018 Ben Yeoh
Brona (middle), Aisling (right), Annette (left) 

Brona (middle), Aisling (right), Annette (left) 

I saw my brilliant friend Brona, (on twitter here) speak about female friendship with her soul mate friend Aisling Bea (previous blog about male mental health and her relationship with her father here) in a Soho Theatre cabaret slot (my memories of Soho Theatre were way before it was famous for its comedy and caberet slots, so it was also intriguing to see this young and diverse audience through the door into the basement space)

 

It was part of a recorded conversation for Amy Annette’s podcast and show series - What Women Want.  

 

The audience was woke and full of friends although still sprinkled with randomness, a guy I sat next to came as he thought it sounded fun, same with the girl behind me.

 

A natural funny-ness sprang throughout, as well as an obvious deep friendship (although perhaps would be considered high maintenance to some) there are friendships where we share the minutiae of life - and always back each other up (although the point was gently raised that male friendships tend not to have this same detailed sharing of experience and perhaps men haven’t grown up with the same emotional space and language as women).

 

Clever use of puns and quick witted jokes alongside deft uses of recurring comedy - the idea of misrepresenting the word ominous and, or, omelettes is going to reverb long after.

 

While I will not likely displace Aisling as a soul mate, I’m proud of Brona as a friend, and it’s brilliant watching her succeed onwards as a comedy writer and actor. Keep a watch out!


The current Arts blog, cross-over, the current Investing blog.  Cross fertilise, some thoughts on autism.  Discover what the last arts/business mingle was all about (sign up for invites to the next event in the list below).

Listening to legendary theatre agent, Mel Kenyon. 

My Op-Ed in the Financial Times  (My Financial Times opinion article) about asking long-term questions surrounding sustainability and ESG.

Some popular posts:   the commencement address;  by Nassim Taleb (Black Swan author, risk management philosopher),  Neil Gaiman on making wonderful, fabulous, brilliant mistakes;  JK Rowling on the benefits of failure.  Charlie Munger on always inverting;  Sheryl Sandberg on grief, resilience and gratitude.

How to live a life, well lived. Thoughts from a dying man. On play and playing games.

A provoking read on how to raise a feminist child.

In Theatre, Arts, Writing Tags Comedy, Friendship
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