Self awareness is helpful. Self awareness without charge is unhelpful. Socrates wrote "Know Thyself" (noted from a temple)* and 2000+ years later a leadership-management-self-help industry has spawned.
Allison Vaillancourt writes in the Chronicle of Higher Education: "It is rare to have a conversation lately about workplace dynamics in academia that does not include discussions about the notion of emotional intelligence and the critical need for self-awareness among those who want to effectively lead or interact with others. Understanding our strengths, weaknesses, and blind spots is increasingly considered essential to good management."
She cites 3 lines of evidence:
(2) The Daniel Goleman work on Emotional Intelligence - you can see a short discussion here on his site.
(3) Erich C. Dierdorff and Robert S. Rubin ( DePaul University) , wrote about self-awareness in an essay for the Harvard Business Review. High levels of self-awareness, they argued, increase team performance, decision making, and conflict management. They noted, however, that most of us are remarkably clueless about how others perceive us
But, she writes
"I am noticing a surprising trend: I see more and more leaders who seem to be embracing negative feedback and almost bragging about their perceived deficits, while continuing to engage in the very behaviors that colleagues have asked them to stop or tone down."
- "I know people think I have too much to say" shared one person who tends to go on and on — while, of course, going on and on and on.
- Another leader recently stated, "Apparently, people consider me dismissive; that’s their opinion," as she proceeded to reject the perspectives of everyone around the table who disagreed with her.
- One leader who is known for overcommitting and underdelivering commented, "I know I tend to overcommit, but that’s just who I am. I think most people understand that when I say ‘yes,’ my intentions are good."
It is good to be self-aware. But demonstrating self-awareness, while at the same time showing a lack of discipline to fix issues of concern, is worse than being clueless about our shortcomings.
The most effective people I know sometimes whimper for a bit after receiving constructive criticism, but they quickly put a plan in place to modify the annoying or offending behaviors. By doing so, they demonstrate respect and appreciation for those brave enough to share difficult truths that are offered with the very best intentions. "
We need our colleagues to help us be better, but they can’t help if we’re not listening.
*The Ancient Greek aphorism "know thyself is one of the Delphic maxims and was inscribed in the pronaos (forecourt) of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi.
If you'd like to feel inspired by commencement addresses and life lessons try: Ursula K Le Guin on literature as an operating manual for life; Neil Gaiman on making wonderful, fabulous, brilliant mistakes; or Nassim Taleb's commencement address; or JK Rowling on the benefits of failure. Or Charlie Munger on always inverting.